Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory

Greetings All,

     Yesterday I received a book in the mail sent to me by a wise old friend. As one who loves to climb mountains, the title captured my attention when I opened the package: "Canoeing the Mountains," by Tod Bolsinger. Yet, the secondary title clued me into the fact that it probably was not what I initially thought - "Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory."

     As I read the first chapter I felt like the author had been a fly on the wall in many of my conversations in recent years!  He even mouthed some of the exact phrases I had used!  So, today, I let you in on an issue that has been weighing on me (and many others in ministry) for at least the past decade or longer - trying to minister in a post-Christian (often anti-Christian) culture.  This selection below is just to give you a taste of what he will address in the rest of his book -- offering hope for a breakthrough where many seem to have run into what FEELS like an impenetrable wall we were not trained or equipped to break through. Enjoy.

     "One night after a long day of meetings, an older pastor let out a heavy sigh. He was nearing retirement, and we were working together on a project that was supposed to reorganize our entire denomination in order to help our church better minister in a changing world. And that changing world weighed on him.  He remembered well how not that long ago life was different. He stirred his drink and said to me, 'You know, when I began my ministry in a church in Alabama, I never worried about church growth or worship attendance or evangelism. Back then, if a man didn't come to church on Sunday, his boss asked him about it at work on Monday.'

     Sociologists and theologians refer to this recently passed period as 'Christendom.' The seventeen-hundred-year-long era with Christianity at the privileged center of western cultural life. Christendom gave us 'blue laws' and the Ten Commandments in school [and prayer in schools]. It gave us 'under God' in the pledge of allegiance and exhortations to Bible reading in the national newspapers. (I have a copy of the Los Angeles Times from December 1963 that has stories on the Warren Commission (investigating the assassination of John F. Kennedy), the nine-thousand-member Hollywood Presbyterian Church, and a list of daily Bible readings for the upcoming week.  Can you even imagine the Los Angeles Times exhorting people to read their Bibles today?) It was the day every "city father" laid out the town square with the courthouse, the library, and a First Church of _______ within the center of the city.  For most of us these days are long gone. (For some of us, that is good news indeed. Did you notice the reference to 'man' in my friends statement?)

     In our day (unlike then) cities are now considering using eminent domain laws to replace churches with tax-revenue generating big-box stores, Sundays are more about soccer and Starbucks than about Sabbath, Christian student groups are getting derecognized on university campuses, the fastest growing religious affiliation among young adults is 'none,' there is no moral consensus built on Christian tradition (even among Christians), and even a funeral in a conservative beach town is more likely to be a Hawaiian style 'paddle out' than a gathering in a sanctuary.  As we see all this we know that Christendom as a marker of society has passed.

     Over the last ten years I have had one church leader after another whisper to me the same frustrated confession: 'Seminary didn't prepare me for this. I don't know if I can do it. I just don't know...'  A number of pastors are ready to throw in the towel. Studies show that if given the chance to do something else, most pastors would jump at it. Reportedly, upwards of fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry EVERY MONTH  [Every year more than 4000 churches in the U.S. close their doors, almost double the number from 20 years ago.] 

     A couple years ago I learned that three of my pastor friends around the country had resigned  -- on the same day. There were no affairs, no scandals, and no one was renouncing the faith. But three good, experienced pastors turned in resignations and walked away. One left church ministry altogether.  The details are as different as the pastors themselves, but the common thread is that they finally got worn down by trying to bring change to a church that was stuck and didn't know what to do. Their churches were stuck and declining, stuck and clinging to the past, stuck and lurching to quick fixes, trying to find an easy answer for what were clearly bigger challenges. What all three churches had in common was that they were mostly blaming the pastor for how bad it felt to be stuck.

'If only you could preach better.' 

'If only you were more pastoral and caring.' 

'If only our worship was more dynamic.' 

'Please, pastor, do something!'  (That is what we pay you for, isn't it?)

     And to make matters worse, the pastors don't know what to do either. As a seminary vice-president I am now charged with confronting this reality head-on. Our graduates were not trained for this day. When I went to seminary, we were trained in the skills that were necessary for supporting faith in Christendom.  When churches functioned primarily as vendors of religious services for a Christian culture, the primary leadership toolbox was:  1. TEACHING (for providing Christian education).  2. LITURGICS (for leading Christian services).  3. PASTORAL CARE (for offering Christian counsel and support).  In this changing world we need to add a new set of leadership tools..." 

     If you would like to know what those new and necessary tools are, you will need to purchase his book for yourself!  As a pastor who has lived long enough to see Christendom progressively and purposefully deconstructed, and replaced at almost every turn with secularized and post-Christian alternatives, it has been stretching.  I'm not one of the pastoral casualties he lists, but in all honesty there have been times I have come pretty close. In fact, given those statistics it may be time to start a "pastor support group" for those who feel they are on the verge of being one of those 1500 pastors every month who leave the ministry.

     I haven't had time to read far into his book, but I wanted to share the introductory chapter so people can know there is a voice of encouragement from someone who has his ear to the ground, and has himself been a pastor ministering in our post-Christian culture.   A culture where traditional styles of leadership and ministry (which garnered much fruit in the not-so-distant past) can actually be a hindrance and obstacle in the present. His word to pastors - "Start with conviction, stay calm, stay connected, and stay the course - even when navigating loss."

     Ministry has always required people to, "run the race with perseverance"  (Hebrews 12:1-2).  Yet today is one of those cultural seasons or times when like a runner in a marathon on a hot and humid day, people in ministry are encountering what in the Boston Marathon is called, "Heartbreak Hill" -- a long gradual incline at the 20 mile mark.  It's a "grueling test of endurance" as one writer puts it, which drives many to give up before the finish line.  A place where one must be mentally prepared, make adjustments, and persevere, or become a casualty.  If you happen to be at that place, maybe you might want to see what Bolsinger has to say.

Living in the Grace of Jesus, Pastor Jeff

Temptation

Greetings!

     Today's "thought" has to do with temptation -- something every one of us is very familiar with!   In fact, it's something Jesus was very familiar with as well, according to Hebrews 4:15.  Yet, in this thought, taken from a devotional book by Michael DiMarco called "Devotions for the God Guy," (don't let the title mislead you, this one is for guys and girls alike!) he looks at temptation in a slightly different way. The more subtle ways that it works. The often overlooked ways.  The ways where temptation sometimes comes disguised as what we think is virtue.  Enjoy.

"The Spirit led Jesus into the desert to be tempted of the devil." 

Matthew 4:1

     "The most obvious temptation is the temptation to do wrong things.  But what about the temptation to do good things for God? Have you ever been tempted to be great in the eyes of God? Have you ever thought about how amazing it would be to save the world with your gifts, or to become the best in some area of ministry?  This kind of temptation is tricky because it looks all noble and good. But at the heart of it is a bit of pride, and that pride puts the focus on you instead of God.

     We've got Christian "stars."  Those people in the faith who've made it big.  They even have fan clubs.  But that should never be your goal.  When it is, Satan uses your dream of fame to distract you and make it all about you. After Jesus was baptized, immediately he went went out into the desert to be tempted. Do you remember how he was tempted?  He wasn't just tempted to do wrong, but to do God-like things. Things that proved he was who he said he was, like commanding the angels [to keep his foot from striking a stone], or turning the rocks into bread (Matt. 4:1-11).  

     Maybe once you were saved you became tempted to do great things too, so that you could prove yourself, get the glory, be successful, or have a greater purpose. So don't look at temptation as just a chance to do bad things, but look at your heart and make sure it doesn't want to be worshiped just a little bit.  Make sure it doesn't want glory or fame.  Don't let it lead you to try and take the attention away from Jesus.  Everything you do as a God Guy should be to bring glory to God and not yourself (Isaiah 42:8)."

     These are temptations to sin that we often overlook because they're masked under the cloak of what could be seen as virtue in our society.  We have celebrities everywhere, why not in Christian circles?  How could that be so wrong -- especially if it gets us followers who heed what we say about Jesus?  Sometimes we forget that with God it is not necessarily the things we do that makes them sin, but the motive we do them for. After all, what's wrong with wanting people to admire us, look up to us, and be our "fans"?

     It goes back to the admirable attitude exemplified by John the Baptist (which I preached on this past Sunday): "He (Jesus) must increase, I must decrease."  Wrong motivations do motivate us, for self-interest is a very powerful motivator.  But it is also the road that leads us to sin in a faith where Jesus is to have the preeminence or supremacy (Colossians 1:15-20).  A faith where we are to see ourselves (regardless of the effort or endeavor) as "unworthy servants" who have simply "done our duty" (Luke 17:10).  As Paul says of himself and Apollos in I Corinthians 3:7 in regard to sharing the gospel and seeing people come to faith: "So neither he who plants (Paul) nor he who waters (Apollos) is anything, but only God who makes things grow."  In a culture which loves making idols out of people, we need to be careful we do not see as good something that is actually a temptation to sin. 

     May we ponder the words of Jesus more extensively when he says, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil"-- especially when the evil doesn't seem all that evil.

Only By His Grace, Pastor Jeff

What comes to mind when you think about God?

Greetings!

     Let me start with a question: What comes to mind when you think about God?
     One particular man has said that your answer to that question, "is the most important thing about [you]."   So think about it again: "What comes into your mind when you think about God?"   This week's "thought" explains why he makes the above assertion.  It is taken from the book, "The Knowledge of the Holy" by A. W. Tozer, and I pass it along to you because I want to challenge you to think more deeply about what you believe about God.

     As with most of the "thoughts" I pass along, I believe Tozer is right in the things he says.  What we believe about God does have a tremendous effect upon who we are, what we do, and who we will become.  I pray that his words might cause you to earnestly consider, and if necessary make some adjustments, in relation to your view of God. In fact, if you desire a very thoughtful and readable consideration of what Scripture tells us God is like, this book is well-worth the cost and time it takes to read it (or listen to it) The following entry tells you why he wrote the book.  Enjoy.

     "What comes to mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us. The history of mankind will probably show that no people has ever risen above its religion, and man's spiritual history will positively demonstrate that no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God.  Worship is either pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God. For this reason the gravest question before the Church is always God Himself, and the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at any given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like.  We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God. This is true not only of the individual Christian, but the company of Christians that composes the Church.  Always the most revealing thing about the Church is her idea of God, just as her most significant message is what she says about Him or leaves unsaid, for her silence is often more eloquent than her speech. She can never escape the self-disclosure of her witness concerning God.

     Were we able to extract from any person a complete answer to the question, "What comes to mind when you think about God?" we might predict with certainty the spiritual future of that person.  Were we able to know exactly what our most influential religious leaders think of God today, we might be able with some precision to foretell where the Church will stand tomorrow. Without doubt, the mightiest thought the mind can entertain is the thought of God, and the weightiest word in any language is its word for God.  Thought and speech are God's gifts to creatures made in His image; these are intimately associated with Him and impossible apart from Him...  We may speak because God spoke.  In Him word and idea are indivisible.

That our idea of God correspond as nearly as possible to the true being of God is of immense importance to us.  Compared with our actual thoughts of Him, our creedal statements are of little consequence. Our real idea of God may lie buried under the rubbish of conventional religious notions and may require an intelligent and vigorous search before it is finally unearthed and exposed for what it is. Only after an ordeal of painful self-probing are we likely to discover what we actually believe about God.  A right conception of God is basic not only to systematic theology but to practical Christian living as well.  It is to worship what the foundation is to the Temple. Where it is inadequate or out of plumb, the whole structure must sooner or later collapse.  I believe there is scarcely an error in doctrine or a failure in applying Christian ethics that cannot be traced finally to imperfect and ignoble thoughts about God...

     The church has surrendered her once lofty concept of God and has substituted for it one so low, so ignoble, as to be utterly unworthy of thinking, worshiping people. This she has done not deliberately, but little by little and without her knowledge; and her very unawareness only makes her situation all the more tragic.  This low view of God... is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us. A whole new philosophy of the Christian life has resulted from this one basic error in our religious thinking.  With our loss of the sense of [God's] majesty has come the further loss of religious awe and consciousness of the divine Presence. We have lost our spirit of worship and our ability to withdraw inwardly to meet God in adoring silence. Modern Christianity is simply not producing the kind of Christian who can appreciate or experience the life in the Spirit. The words, "Be still and know that I am God," mean next to nothing to the self-confident bustling worshiper [of our day]...  The decline of the knowledge of the Holy has brought on our troubles...  A rediscovery of the majesty of God will go a long way toward curing those troubles. It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate.  If we would bring back spiritual power to our lives, we must begin to think of God more nearly as He is." 

     I have seen the truth of what he says play itself out in my own life, as well as in society.  You too (if you are the introspective type) may be able to see traces of that progression (in a positive or negative direction) in your own life.  We inevitably (subconsciously) take on the characteristics of the God that we worship.  In fact, speaking of idols and those who make them the psalmist says: "Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them" (Psalm 115:8).  This is why it makes such a difference what we believe about God.  "We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God," as Tozer put it.

     Do you believe God is permissive? You believe God is a heartless taskmaster?  You believe God is gracious and kind?  You believe God is a heartless rule-enforcer?  You believe God is Santa Claus in the sky?  Do you believe ______________?   The answer to these questions is extremely important, for you will gravitate toward exhibiting the characteristics of the God you envision.  As many have realized (and used for both good and bad purposes -- like the empathetic counselor who wants to free from guilt with the Gospel, or the terrorist who wants to enlist people to do unspeakable acts of cruelty): All you need to do to bring about change in a person is to change their view of God. 

     Which leads me to ask you one last time: "What comes to mind when you think about God?"   And to close, let me ask you to imagine how different you, and this world could be, if the answer to that question was, "Jesus." (Hebrews 1:3).

Just some food for thought, Pastor Jeff

The Practice of the Presence of God

Greetings!

This past weekend the men at my church got away on a "Men's Recon"  to a couple cabins in the Pocono Mountains to spend time in quiet contemplation with God.  In doing so we read Brother Lawrence's classic work, "The Practice of the Presence of God."  It was revitalizing time.   I had my own copy of the book which I bought many years ago, so I brought it with me - fragile as it is from being loaned out and read so many times. Over the years I have copied quotes into the many blank pages and spaces in it.  So today I wanted to share some of those quotes with you.  And if you have just a moment, let me know which one(s) hit home the most. Enjoy.

"Whatever we are doing, even if we are reading the Word or praying, we should stop for a few minutes -- as often as possible -- to praise God from the depths of our hearts, to enjoy Him there in secret. Since you believe that God is always with you no matter what you may be doing, why shouldn't you stop for a while to adore Him, to praise Him, to petition Him, to offer Him your heart, and to thank Him?"

Brother Lawrence

"There is nothing but God's grace. We walk upon it. We breathe it. We live by it and we die in it."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"You have no strength but what God gives you, and you can have all the strength that God can give." 

Andrew Murray

"Wonder is the basis of worship."

Thomas Carlyle

"Faith is not an effort, a striving, a ceaseless seeking, as so many earnest souls suppose, but rather, a letting go, an abandonment, an abiding rest in God that nothing, not even the soul's shortcomings can disturb." 

Unknown

"God never asks us to give up anything unless He intends to replace it with something better."

George Mueller

"He who would not die for Jesus will never truly live for Jesus; for to earnestly live for Him requires dying daily to the self-will that we may do His will."

"God insists that we ask, not because He needs to know our situation, but because we need the spiritual discipline of asking."

Catherine Marshall

"When God wants to do His great works, He trains somebody to be quiet enough and little enough, then uses that person."

Hudson Taylor

"Enter into the inner chamber of your mind, shut out all things except God and whatever might aid you in seeking God, and having barred the door of your inner chamber, seek Him." 

St. Anselm of Canterbury

"God creates out of nothing. Therefore, until a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him." 

Martin Luther

"Joy is not happiness as much as it is gladness; it is the ecstasy of eternity in a soul that has made peace with God and is ready to do His will."

Unknown

"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation."

Elton Trueblood

"Be patient with each other, there are no shortcuts to spirituality. The growing of fruit takes time."

Unknown

"The greatness of a man is not measured by his power or ability, but by the measure of his surrender to God."

Unknown

"The person who insists on seeing with perfect clarity before he follows Christ in the way, will never obey God's call to walk by faith. To Abraham God said, 'Leave your country and your people and your father's household, and go to the place I will (that is, in the future, far down the road) show you." 

"When, as a husband or wife, you are confronted with a very difficult choice, do what is best for your spouse and your children and God will honor it." 

"If you'd ever really gotten inside the mind of Jesus, ever had a single taste of His burning love, considerations of your own loss or gain would mean nothing."

Thomas A'Kempis

"It is possible to give without loving, but it is impossible to love without giving."

Richard Braumstein

"Though we do not have our Lord Jesus with us in bodily presence, we have our neighbor, who, for the ends of love and loving service, is as good as our Lord Himself."

Teresa of Avila

"To do so no more is the best repentance."

Martin Luther

"No one gives himself freely and willingly to God's service unless, having tasted His Fatherly love, he is drawn to love and worship Him in return." 

John Calvin

In His Service, Pastor Jeff

Addiction and Grace

Greetings All!

Sitting in my office, my eyes scanned the book shelves and fell upon one particular book: "Addiction and Grace" by Gerald G. May, M.D.  It's an intriguing title, because those two words describe the universal struggle and only remedy for humanity.  Don't let the length deter you!  Some spiritual journeys can't be condensed to a paragraph or two!   It's a worthwhile read for anyone, but especially for those trying to help and love people trapped by addictions -- which as he points out, includes all of us to varying degrees.  The "Introduction" is from years of study, experience and reflection.  It is followed by his own "Personal Testimony."  I found what he says very helpful.  Enjoy.

Introduction:
     "After many years of listening to the yearnings of people's hearts, I am convinced that all human beings have an inborn desire for God. Whether we are consciously religious or not, this desire is our deepest longing and our most precious treasure. It gives us meaning. Some of us have repressed this desire, burying it beneath so many other interests that we are completely unaware of it.  Or we may experience it in different ways -- as a longing for wholeness, completion, or fulfillment. Regardless of how we describe it, it is a hunger to love, to be loved, and to move closer to the Source of love...  Modern theology describes this desire as God-given. In an outpouring of love, God creates us and plants the seeds of this desire within us. Then, throughout our lives, God nourishes this desire...

     But something gets in the way...  We become addicted to other things....  A self-defeating force that abuses our freedom makes us do things we really do not want to do (Romans 7:15)... Moreover, our addictions are our own worst enemies. They enslave us with chains that are of our own making and yet paradoxically, are virtually beyond our control.  Addiction attaches to desire and enslaves the energy of desire to certain specific behaviors, things or people. These objects of attachment then become preoccupations and obsessions They come to rule our lives. The word "attachment"... comes from the old French "atache" meaning, "nailed to."  Attachment "nails" our desires to specific objects or things -- alcohol, narcotics, ideas, work, relationships, power, fantasies, money, moods, and an endless variety of other things...  Addiction makes idolaters of all of us, because it forces us to worship objects of attachment, thereby preventing us from truly loving God and one another... It is the absolute enemy of human freedom and the antipathy of love.  Yet, in still another paradox, our addictions can lead us to a deep appreciation of grace. They can bring us to our knees....

Personal Testimony:

     It was in working with some of the most tragically addicted people -- those enslaved to narcotics and alcohol -- that I began wondering about addiction and grace. It was there also that I began to recognize my own addictedness. Most importantly, it was in the course of that work that I reclaimed my own spiritual hunger, a desire for God, and for love that many years had tried to repress.

     As nearly as I can recall, the repression of my spiritual desire began shortly after my father died. I was nine at the time.  Prior to that, I had had a comfortable relationship with God. As with all children, the earliest years of my life were "simply religious." In the innocent wonder and awe of early childhood awareness, everything just is "spiritual."  My religious education had given me a name for God, but I hardly needed it. I prayed easily; God was a friend.  In a reaction typical for a nine year old, I expected God to somehow keep me in touch with my father after his death. I prayed for this, but of course it did not happen. As a result, something hurt and angry in me, something deeper than my consciousness, chose to dispense with God. I would take care of myself. I would go it alone. My wanting -- my love -- had caused me to be hurt, and something in me decided not to want so much. I repressed my longing. Just as my father faded from my awareness, so did God, and so did my desire for God.

     During college, I fell in love with literature and philosophy. In retrospect, I think this was my desire for God resurfacing again as a search for beauty and truth. I even tried to go to church on occasion, but I wasn't consciously looking for God. By then I was searching for something that I could use to develop a sense of mastery over my life, something that would help me go it alone. In medical school and psychiatric training, I tried to make a god out of science. Science seemed learn-able, master-able, and controllable.  Throughout, I resisted prayer and rebelled at religiosity in others. Such things seemed immature; they were signs of weakness. I wanted to be autonomous, although I wasn't completely sure what that word meant. 

     I was in the Air Force during the Vietnam War.  Much in the Vietnam experience I had to repress. But much of it I could not repress. In a way, the tragedy of Vietnam woke me up a little.  Afterward, I took a position as director of a community drug abuse clinic.  With all the energy that might be expected of a young doctor, I applied my best psychiatric methods to the treatment of addictions. None of them worked. I was able to help people with their emotional and social problems, but but they remained addicted to chemicals. Since so much of my desire for meaning and wholeness had become attached to professional success, and I was not being successful, I started to become depressed. A colleague called it, "a normal professional depression."  He went on to say, "All decent psychiatrists experience such depressions when they can't cure the people they treat.  If you didn't feel depressed, it would mean you didn't care enough."  It was some consolation. But not much.

     Then one day in the middle of this depression I was casually introduced to a faith healer at a conference in a nearby town.  I did not believe in faith healers, but as we shook hands she paused, holding my hand, and told me she thought I was meant to be a healer too, but, "I wouldn't take my dog to you, because you think you are the one that has to do the healing."  These are not words one might expect to be helpful for a depressed person.  But they struck me deep and well.  In my search for self-determination, I had also been trying to command the very process of healing. It was obvious that some change in attitude was called for. I still wasn't certain, however, what form that change should take.

     At about that same time, I embarked on a little informal research. I identified a few people who seemed to have overcome serious addictions to alcohol and drugs , and I asked them what had helped them turn their lives around so dramatically. All of them described some sort of spiritual experience. They kindly acknowledged their appreciation for the professional help they had received, but they also made it clear that this help had not been the source of their healing.  What had healed them was something spiritual. They didn't all use religious terms, but there was no doubt in my mind that what they spoke of was spiritual.

     Something about what they said reminded me of home. It had something to do with turning to God.  As a result I relaxed a little. I honestly considered there might be some power greater than myself involved in healing, and that I might be better off cooperating with that power instead of trying to usurp it.  I also set about trying to understand more of what constituted "spiritual experience" and why it had been so helpful to these addicted people... I described these spiritual experiences to some clergy friends. Most of them didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. The least helpful friends tried to give me Freudian explanations.  "Why, it's simply a narcissistic regression of the ego to a state of infantile dissociation in order to avoid reality issues that have stimulated unacceptable libidinous impulses."  They said such things as if I should have known them already. But the problem was I did know them already, and knowing them didn't help... 

     I studied Eastern religions, psychic phenomena, psychedelic drugs, biofeedback, all the great stew of psychological pop and pap that was percolating across the nation at the time. I read Alan Watts and Baba Ram Dass. I mediated every day. From a comfortable distance I watched the charismatic renewal in Christian churches, and from an equal distance, I sensed something powerful I couldn't understand in Alcoholics Anonymous. One evening about six months after my quest began, I was diligently practicing a form of Yoga meditation that encouraged the free coming and going of all thoughts. It is a method that might be described as the opposite of repression. In the freedom I gave to my mind, one of the thoughts that came was prayer. It was, in the beginning, the prayer of a nine year old, embarrassingly immature. "Dear Jesus, help me." I would have stifled it immediately had   it not been dutifully allowing all my thoughts to come and go. It was a sad and painful thing just to let that prayer happen, but it did. 

     As months and years passed, the prayer grew, and with it, my awareness of my desire for God.  I realized my exploration was less a professional research project and more a personal spiritual journey. I was not in control of my life. I needed as much of God's grace as any of my patients did.  With that growing realization, my spiritual desire seemed to pick up where it had left off some 20 years earlier.  Now it was out in the light again, and I gradually became able to reclaim it as my true hearts desire and the most precious thing in my life." 

     When I read testimonies, I seek to compare my own journey to the paths others followed.  There were places where my path crisscrossed that of Gerald May.  That may be true for others who were children of the 60's, 70's and early 80's.  The tendency to look to other "saviors" before we return to the One who truly is, is not uncommon.  How right he is when he says, "Addiction attaches to desire and enslaves the energy of desire to certain specific behaviors, things, or people. These objects of attachment then become preoccupations and obsessions. They come to rule our lives."   And once they do, only God's all powerful and relentless grace can liberate us from those addictions and restore us to sanity and the freedom to follow Him. To root out those idols which are, "the absolute enemy of human freedom and the antipathy of love."      

Living in the Grace of Jesus, Pastor Jeff

Heresy / Apostasy

Greetings All,

     Today's "thought" comes from a lady who grew up in the church as a child, and then (in her own words) "set it aside as folly" as she entered her 20's. It wasn't until she reached her mid-thirties the she felt the need to "reclaim it."  It was process that was not always easy, and made her feel (at times) like she was being moved in a direction contrary to that which she would have willed to go -- though always for her good. 

     
     Her name is Kathleen Norris and her book is entitled "Amazing Grace, A Vocabulary of Faith."  This selection I share comes from her chapter on Heresy/Apostasy -- things she herself had ventured into.  And having been there, she addresses the topic from the informed place of personal experience.  I found her take on it interesting, and as one who also wandered far from the church for a time, before being drawn back, true to my experience as well. I offer it to others who may have strayed as well. Enjoy.

     "The Christian church has always co-existed with heresy, and with any luck it always will.  Contending with heresy is what helps keep orthodoxy alive.  But good will and sanity are essential, as Christian history is full of evidence that the vigorous rooting out of heretics is a cure worse than the disease.  The times, blessedly few of them considering the church’s two-thousand-year span, when the inquisitorial types have gotten the upper hand have proved irredeemably shameful and sometime horrific.

     If heresy might be seen as slipping toward one extreme or another on a Christian continuum, apostasy is another matter altogether.  The word comes from the Greek for “to revolt,” “to defect,” and signifies a break with the family.  The American Heritage Dictionary defines apostasy as the “abandonment of one’s religious faith, a political party, one’s principles, or a cause.” There is a certain pride inherent in apostasy, which often manifests itself as a remarkable faith in oneself, as in “I alone know what is right for me.”  Teachers, traditions, the family stories, and the beliefs of the common herd are all suspect; suspicion rather than trust is what defines the apostate.  And it defines our age.  The individual stands alone, a church of one, convinced that he or she is free of the tyranny of any creed or dogma.

     But the use of one’s own experience as the measure of the world contains the seed of another kind of tyranny.  The accomplished gadfly Wendy Kaminer, in a perceptive essay entitled “The Latest Fashion in Irrationality,” examines the way in which much contemporary spirituality (which from a Christian frame of reference is apostasy) offers a closed belief system in which “the possibility of error is never considered,” as one’s feelings are always right.  But as Kaminer points out, these trendy belief systems – she is examining some recent best-sellers that address alien abductions, personal angels, and the ability to will oneself into a supernaturally evolved state – usually fail to deal adequately with the evil in this world.  And they encourage a disastrous self-absorption, allowing people to believe that they are part of a spiritual elite.  “Like extremist political movements,” she writes, “they shine with moral vanity.”  If I had to come up with a synonym for apostasy, that would be it:  it is simple vanity.

     But it is my own vanity that I am condemning, my own arrogance, my own apostasy, which surfaces whenever I break away from my community of faith.  It comes when I am so angry, or despairing, or simply exhausted, that I forget that I don’t go to church for myself.  Church is the Christian community, and it exists in order to worship God and to live out the commandment given by Jesus Christ, to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself.  The part of this equation that the apostate in me tends to scorn, is that worshipping God means loving my neighbor.  Mark 6:30-34 describes Jesus and his disciples trying to get away from people for a rest, but finding that people follow them, needing a word of encouragement; needing to be tended, fed, and cared for.  A Presbyterian pastor one reminded me, in an inventive take on this gospel passage, that we “go to church for other people.  Because,” he added, “someone may need you there.”  I stopped doodling on my bulletin and began to pay attention, apostate no longer but fully present  “Someone may need you there.”  And I may also need to admit that I need them. 

     Wretched as I am, it may do someone good just to see my face, or share a conversation over coffee before the worship service; wretched as we all are, in the private hells we dwell in, all too often inflicting on those who are closest to us the bitter residue of their flames  Church is a place we can go to stop the madness, because every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we are petitioning for forgiveness not only from God but from each other.  Forgive me, Lord, as I forgive.  These are words that a true apostate cannot pray."

     Kathleen is right. In terms of the years of my own "apostasy" I can say, "Yes, it was bred in vanity."  For vanity often produces the need to be novel, and as she says, think that we alone see things as they really are and we alone know what is right for us.  Likewise, apostasy (at least in my case) was the result of a rebellion against what I knew deep down inside to be true; it was not driven by a compulsion to pursue truth. Also, it was fueled by a tendency to embrace one small part of what was true, focus on that one small part as the whole truth, and thereby create a system of thought that was unbalanced or not counterbalanced by other necessary truths, and thus ended up being untrue (heretical).

     J. I. Packer was right when he suggested that: "A half-truth masquerading as the whole truth becomes a complete untruth."  Heresy usually exists in the unbalanced extremes of limited thinking. It is not the result of seeing more than others see, but refusing to see all there is to see. Truth is comprehensive, but heresy latches on to one small aspect of the truth without considering the complexity and completeness of the full truth that would balance it off.  So, my coming to the faith, after a time of straying (apostasy) was simply coming to see in full (and acknowledge) truths I had selectively chosen to reject. Those who have (like she and I) wandered into the two states of heresy and apostasy will understand what she and I mean -- which is probably more than a few of those who have read this post!

With Prayers for You on the Journey, Pastor Jeff