Prayer, Finding the Heart's True Home

Greetings All!

     This week's "thought" is about prayer - simple, awkward, unrehearsed, and often bumbling prayer.  The stage of prayer we must all go through. The stage of prayer we can even feel guilty or embarrassed about (simple and self-centered as we realize our prayers sound after the words have come out of our mouths)!  Yet, as Richard Foster will assure us in this selection, taken from his book, "Prayer, Finding the Heart's True Home," it is a stage that cannot be avoided. And to our surprise, one we may need to return to.  So, whether you are one who has rarely rayed and would like to learn how to pray, or consider yourself to be a seasoned "prayer warrior," this book is helpful, instructive and practical.  This thought comes to you from the very first chapter on, "Simple Prayer" or "Beginning Prayer."  Enjoy.

"Pray as you can, not as you can't."

Dom Chapman

     "We yearn for prayer and hide from prayer... We believe prayer is something we should do, even something we want to do, but it seems like a chasm stands between us and actually praying... We are not quite sure what holds us back. Of course, we are busy with work and family obligations, but that is only a smoke screen. Our busyness seldom keeps us from eating or sleeping or making love. No, there is something deeper and more profound keeping us in check... It is the notion -- almost universal among us modern high-level achievers -- that we have to do everything "just right" in order to pray. That is, before we can really pray, our lives need some fine tuning, or we need to know more about how to pray, or we need to study the philosophical questions surrounding pray, or we need to have a better grasp of the great traditions of prayer. And on and on it goes.  It isn't that these are wrong concerns, or there is never a time to deal with them. But our problem is that we assume prayer is something to master the way we master algebra or auto mechanics. Something that puts us in the "on-top" position, where we are competent and in control...

     I used to think that I needed to get all my motives straightened out before I could pray. I would examine what I had just prayed and think to myself, "How utterly foolish and self-centered; I can't pray this way!" And so I would determine never to pray again until my motives were pure... But the practical effect of all this internal soul-searching was to completely paralyze my ability to pray. The truth of the matter is we all come to prayer with a tangled mess of motives -- altruistic and selfish, merciful and hateful, loving and bitter. Frankly, this side of eternity we will never unravel the good from the bad, the pure from the impure. But what I have come to see is that God is big enough to receive us with all our mixture. We do not have to be bright, or pure, or filled with faith, or anything. That is what grace means, and not only are we saved by grace, we live in it as well. And we pray by it (Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 5:2, Romans 8:26-27).

     Jesus [in the Lord's Prayer] reminds us that prayer is a little like children coming to their parents. Our children come to us with the craziest requests at times!  Often we are grieved by the meanness and selfishness in their requests, but we would be all the more grieved if they never came to us at all.  We are simply glad they do come -- mixed motives and all. This is precisely how it is with prayer. We will never have pure enough motives, or be good enough, or know enough in order to pray rightly.  We must simply set all these concerns aside and begin praying. In fact, it is in the very act of prayer itself -- the intimate, ongoing interaction with God -- that these matters are cared for in due time. 

     What I am trying to say is that God receives us just as we are and accepts our prayers just as they are. In the same way that a small child cannot draw a bad picture, so a child of God cannot offer a bad prayer.  So we are brought to the most basic, the most primary form of prayer -- Simple Prayer -- where we bring ourselves before God just as we are, warts and all. Like children before a loving father, we open our hearts and make our requests. We do not try to sort things out, the good from the bad. We simply and unpretentiously share our concerns and make our petitions. We tell God, for example, how frustrated we are with the co-worker at the office or the neighbor down the street. We ask for food, favorable weather, and good health. In a very real sense, WE are the focus of simple prayer. Our needs, our wants, and our concerns dominate our prayer experience. Our prayers are shot through with plenty of pride, conceit, vanity, pretentiousness, haughtiness, and general all-around egocentricity.  No doubt there is also magnanimity, generosity, unselfishness, concern for others and universal goodwill. 

     We make mistakes -- lots of them. We sin; we fall down, often -- but each time we get up and begin again. We pray again. We seek to follow God again. And again our insolence and self-indulgence defeat us. Never mind.  We confess and begin again... and again... and again... In "Simple Prayer" the good, the bad and the ugly are all mixed together... Abraham prayed this way, as did Joseph, Joshua, Hannah, David, Gideon, Ruth, Peter, James, John and a host of other biblical luminaries. Simple Prayer involves ordinary people bringing ordinary concerns to a loving and compassionate Father. We do not pretend to be more holy than we are, more pure, or more saintly than we actually are. We do not try to conceal our conflicting and contradictory motives from God -- or ourselves. And in this posture, we pour out our heart to the God who is greater than our heart and knows all things (I John 3:20).

     Jesus calls us to Simple Prayer when he urges us to ask for our daily bread. As John Dalrymple rightly observes, "We never outgrow this kind of prayer, because we never outgrow the needs that give rise to it." There is a temptation, especially by the "sophisticated," to despise this most elementary way of praying. They seek to skip over Simple Prayer in the hopes of advancing to more "mature" expressions of prayer. They smile at the egotistical asking, asking, asking, of so many. Grandly they speak of avoiding "self-centered prayer" in favor of "others-centered prayer."  But what these people fail to see, however, is that Simple Prayer is necessary, even essential, in the spiritual life. The only way we move beyond "self-centered prayer" (if indeed we ever do) is by going through it, not by making a detour around it... When we pray, genuinely pray, the real condition of our heart is revealed. This is as it should be. This is when God truly begins to work with us. The adventure is just beginning."

     I love to hear new believers pray. They often pause searching for the right word, don't use flowery language, and say exactly what comes to their mind (that is, if they are thankfully freed from feeling the need to try to impress others). To me, there are few things more beautiful than getting to listen in on a new-born Christian's first attempt to speak with their Savior. It's like listening to my grandchildren (when they were two and three) praying at the table before dinner!  Who could not love it despite the odd nature of many of their requests!?  So with the adult who has recently come to Christ, Simple Prayer is a phase one must go through, not seek to avoid. They can do no other because they know no other.  And to encourage them to pretend to be what they're not, kills true prayer in its beginnings. We learn more about ourselves (and thus grow) by hearing what comes out of our mouths and hearts when we pray, than being told by others what should be coming out of them. 

     When I was first asked (as a new Christian) to pray with others, I refused.  I didn't know what to pray, or how to pray, or what to pray for. I didn't know what was selfish or non-selfish, the right things to pray for or the wrong things to pray for -- so I didn't pray at all.  Yet I thank God they were persistent, for I did finally consent, and have come to cherish praying with others. (Though I must confess they did have to first assure me they would not judge me if I said something "wrong," or said it the "wrong way," or stumbled over my words, or used no "thee's" or "Thous" or other fancy religious words or phrases -- and they didn't -- or if they did, it never came out of their mouths!)

In His Service, Pastor Jeff

The Marks of Spiritual Power

Greetings All,     

     Today's 'thought' brings some needed clarity to a reality that is often misunderstood in Christian circles -- the presence, power, and evidence of a true work of the Holy Spirit and His power.

     This selection comes to you from Richard Foster in an article entitled "The Marks of Spiritual Power."

It is found in a book by Randall Harris called: "The Contemporaries Meet The Classics on the Holy Spirit."

As one who has personally seen spiritual power exercised by others with great love and humility, but also misused and mislabeled, Foster offers some helpful reminders. Enjoy.

The Marks of Spiritual Power

     "The power of the flesh relies upon such things as proper pedigree, positions of status, and connections among those in the power structure (Phil. 3:2-6). But Paul, you see, had given up on the flesh. He said that he counted those things as 'dung' for his sights were set on a greater power -- 'that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death...' (Phil. 3:10-11).

     Now, when we see people desperately striving for the 'dung' of human power we can be sure that they know precious little of the 'power of His resurrection." 

     What then, are the marks of this power that proceeds from God?

     1.) Love is the first mark of spiritual power (Rom. 5:5). Love demands that power be used for the good of others. Notice Jesus' use of power -- the healing of the blind, the sick, the maimed, the dumb, the leper, and many others... Notice in each case the concern for the good of others, the motivation of love... Power for the purpose of advancing reputations or inflating egos is not power motivated by love.

     When God used Paul and Barnabas to heal a cripple at Lystra, the astonished people tried to turn them into Greek gods, but they tore their clothes and shouted out, 'We also are men, just like you' (Acts 14:15). Many of us might not find the idea of deity status so reprehensible.  Think of the power over people we would have, and, after all, we would use the power to such good ends!  But power that is used to advance reputations destroys the user, because with it we aspire to be gods.

     2.) The second mark of spiritual power is humility. Humility is power under control. Nothing is more dangerous than power in the service of arrogance. Power under the discipline of humility is teachable (Acts 10:1-35, Acts 18:24-26, Galatians 2:11-21). Believe me, this is no small matter. Many have been destroyed in their walk with God simply because their power was not controlled by humility...

     Power destroys when it is not coupled with the spirit of humility.  To really know the power of God is to be keenly aware that we have done nothing more than receive a gift. Gratitude, not pride, is our only appropriate response. The power is not ours, though we are given the freedom to use it. When we truly walk with God, our only desire is to use power in the service of Christ and His kingdom.

     3.) This leads to the third mark of spiritual power -- self-limitation. The power that creates, refrains from doing some things -- even good things -- out of respect for the individual. Have you ever noticed the number of times that Jesus refused to use power?

     He refused to dazzle people by jumping off the pinnacle of the temple (Matt. 4:5). He rejected the temptation to make more 'wonder bread' to validate His ministry (John 6:26). He refused to do many wonderful works in His own hometown because of the unbelief of the people (Luke 4:16-27). He said no to the Pharisees' demand that He give them a sign to prove He was the Messiah (Matt. 12:38).  At His arrest, Jesus reminded Peter that He could have summoned a whole army of angels to his rescue, but He did not (Matt. 26:53).  Paul said, 'Lay hands suddenly on no man' (I Tim. 5:22 KJV)... Those who live and move in God know that there is a time to withhold the hand of power just as there is a time to use it.

     4.) Joy is the fourth mark of spiritual power. This is no grim-faced, dour effort. Far from it! To see the kingdom of Christ break into the midst of darkness and depression is a wonderful thing.  As M. Scott Peck writes, 'The experience of spiritual power is basically a joyful one.' ... 

     I hope you understand that I am referring to something more profound than the bubbly 'joy' of the superficial. The rich inner joy of spiritual power knows sorrow and is acquainted with grief.  Joy and grief often have a symbiotic relationship.

     5.) Vulnerability is the fifth mark of spiritual power. The power that comes from above is not filled with bravado and bombast. It lacks the symbols of human authority; indeed, its symbols are a manger and a cross. It is power that is not recognized as power. It is a self-chosen position of meekness that to human eyes looks powerless... The power from above leads from weakness, and is perfected in weakness (II Cor. 12:9-10).

     6.) The sixth mark of spiritual power is submission. Jesus knew what it meant to submit to the ways of God: 'The Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing; for whatever He does, that the Son does likewise' (John 5:19). As we learn to experience on a personal level this same kind of intimate cooperation with the Father, we will enter more deeply into the meaning of true power... We submit to Scripture to learn more perfectly the ways of God with human beings. We submit to the Holy Spirit to learn the meaning of obedience. We submit to the life of faith in order to understand the difference between human power and divine power. 'Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,' said Paul (Eph. 5:21)... When we submit to others, we have access to their wisdom, their counsel, their rebuke, their encouragement... Human power is power over someone, divine power has no such need to control..."

     God's Spirit always works in conformity with God's character. Therefore, when it claims to be exercised, yet is done to sinful ends (self-exaltation, control, manipulation, etc.) we should be cautious and question if it is truly being exercised at all -- or if it is power of a different kind.

     Let us pray that the power of God may fall upon His people.  And with it let us pray that these six marks (or fruits) of divine power, which are so contrary to fleshly, human power, might also attend it.

In the bonds of Christian Charity, Pastor Jeff

Feeling like God is Distant and Withdrawn

Greetings All,     

 

This week's 'thought' comes to you from a man known as St. John of the Cross. They are various thoughts found in his most famous work, "The Dark Night of the Soul" (using revised and updated language).  More of this selection can be found in "Devotional Classics," by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith.

John lived between 1542 and 1591, and worked tirelessly for reform within the Catholic Church. In fact, this work was written during a time in his life when he had been arrested by fellow Carmelite monks who opposed his attempts at reform.  A biographer writes of this time: "On the night of 2 December 1577, a group of Carmelites opposed to reform broke into John’s dwelling in Avila, and took him prisoner....  He was jailed in the monastery, where he was kept under a brutal regimen that included public lashing before the community at least weekly, and severe isolation in a tiny stifling cell measuring ten feet by six feet, barely large enough for his body. Except when rarely permitted an oil lamp, he had to stand on a bench to read his breviary by the light through the hole into the adjoining room. He had no change of clothing and a penitential diet of water, bread and scraps of salt fish.  During this imprisonment, he composed a great part of his most famous poem Spiritual Canticle (Dark Night of the Soul) as well as a few shorter poems."  

     If you are going through a time when you've been struggling to understand why God feels so distant and withdrawn, I trust that his words (which show immense wisdom and insight) might challenge you to consider the truth he seeks to convey: That God's purpose in your life, is, out of His love for you, to use those dark, dry, spiritually numb or difficult times to purify your soul.  Enjoy.

I. God's purpose: To Purify the Soul.
"At a certain point in the spiritual journey God will draw a person from the beginning stage [of their Christian walk] to a more advanced stage... At this time such souls will likely experience what is called 'the dark night of the soul.'  The 'dark night' is when those person's lose all the pleasure that they once experienced in their devotional life. This happens because God wants to purify them and move them on to greater heights.

      After a soul has been converted by God, that soul is nurtured and caressed by the Spirit. Like a loving mother, God cares for and comforts the infant soul by feeding it spiritual milk. Such souls will find great delight in this stage. They will begin praying with great urgency and perseverance. They will engage in all kinds of religious activities because of the joy they experience in them. But there will come a time when God will bid them to grow deeper. He will remove the previous pleasure and consolation from the soul in order to teach the soul virtue and prevent it from developing vice -- the vice of being proud, coveting, misusing or idolizing the consolation God gives, thus explaining why God must take his consolations away to purify the soul."  

II. The Seven Sins God Seeks to Cleanse from the Soul through the Dark Night

1.) Secret Pride.   Beginners in the spiritual life are apt to become very diligent in their exercises. The danger for them will be to become satisfied with their religious works and with themselves.... Such persons become too spiritual. They like to speak of 'spiritual things' all the time. They would prefer to teach rather than be taught. They condemn others who are not as spiritual as they are... The devil knows that all their works and virtues will become valueless and, if unchecked, will become vices. Pride makes them begin to do these spiritual exercises to be esteemed by others. They want others to realize how spiritual they are. They will also begin to fear confession of their sins to another for it would ruin their image. They will beg for God to take away their imperfections, but...do not realize that if God were to take away their imperfections from them, they would probably become prouder and more presumptuous still. But those who are at this time moving in God's way will counter this pride with humility. They will learn to think very little of themselves and their religious works and instead focus on how great and deserving God is and how little they can do for Him. 

2.) Spiritual Greed.  These beginners begin reading many books and performing many acts of piety in an attempt to gain more and more spiritual consolation. Their hearts grow attached to the feelings they get from their devotional life. They focus on the effect, and not on the substance of devotion... Yet those who are on the right path will set their eyes on God and not on outward things or inner experiences. They will enter the dark night of the soul and find all of these things removed. They will have all pleasure taken away so that the soul may be purified. For a soul will never grow until it is able to let go of the need it has for such things. 

3.) Spiritual Luxury. A soul which is deep in prayer may experience profound temptations and find itself powerless to prevent them...   The first cause is the physical pleasure the body takes in spiritual things. The lower part of our nature, the flesh, is sometimes stirred up during times of devotion. But it cannot possess (or hold on to) the experience, and so, it begins to stir up what it can possess -- namely, the impure and sensual.   The second cause is the devil. In order to disturb and disquiet the soul, the devil will try to stir up impurity within the soul, hoping that it will give heed to these temptations. The soul will begin to fear these temptations, and if they persist, it may even give up on prayer all together.  The third cause is an inordinate fear of impure thoughts. Some souls are so tender and frail that they cannot stand such thoughts and live in great fear of them. This fear itself can be their downfall. But when the soul enters the dark night, all these things are put under control... In the dark night God takes away all sensory pleasure, and the soul is purified in the absence of it. 

4.) Spiritual Wrath. When the soul begins to enjoy the benefits of the spiritual life, and then has them taken away, it becomes angry and embittered... When their delight comes to an end, these persons are very anxious and frustrated, just as an infant is angry when it is taken away from its mother's breast. There is no sin in this natural disappointment, but if it is left to itself, it may become a dangerous vice. There are some who become angry with themselves at this point, thinking that their loss of joy is a result of something they have done or have neglected to do. They will fuss and fret and do all they can to recover this consolation. They will strive to become saints in a day! They will make all kinds of resolutions to be more spiritual, but the greater the resolution, the greater is the fall. Their problem is that they lack the patience that waits for whatever God would give them and when God chooses to give it to them. They must learn the spiritual meekness which comes about in the dark night.

5.) Spiritual Gluttony. Many souls become addicted to the spiritual sweetness of the devotional life and strive to obtain more and more of it. They pass beyond the limits of moderation and nearly kill themselves in spiritual exercises. They will often try to subdue their flesh with great acts of submission, lengthy fasts, and painful penances. But note: These are one-sided penances; they do not come from God... They do these things, not for God, but for themselves. And for this reason they will grow weary in them.... The problem is this: When they have received no pleasure for their devotions, they think they have not accomplished anything. This is a grave error, and it judges God unfairly. For the truth is that the feelings we receive from our devotional life are the least of its benefits. The invisible and unfelt grace of God is much greater, and it is beyond our comprehension... For true spirituality consists in perseverance, patience, and humility. The sin of spiritual gluttony will prompt them to read more books and say more prayers, but God in his wisdom, will deny them any consolation because he knows that to feed this desire will create an inordinate appetite and breed innumerable evils. The Lord heals such souls through the aridity [often the lengthy aridity] of the dark night. 

6.) Spiritual Envy. People who fancy themselves as spiritual are quite often not pleased to hear about the spiritual growth of others. Their chief concern is to be praised themselves, and thus they are not pleased when such attention is given to others. They prefer to be thought of as the most spiritual of all. This too can be cured by the dark night, where they see their spiritual poverty revealed to them through the lack of all spiritual help, interest and consolation. 

7.) Spiritual Sloth.  Spiritual sloth happens when pleasure is removed from the spiritual life and such souls become weary with spiritual exercises because they yield no consolation. Thus they abandon them. They become angry because they are called to do that which does not fit their [perceived] needs... Such souls are too weak to bear the crosses they are given to help us grow -- crosses we face in the dark night of the soul.

Let it suffice to say that God perceives the imperfections within us, and because of his love for us, urges us to grow up. His love is not content to leave us in our weakness, and for this reason he takes us into a dark night. He weans us from all of the pleasures by giving us dry times and inward darkness.... Through the dark night pride becomes humility, greed becomes simplicity, wrath becomes contentment, luxury becomes peace, gluttony becomes moderation, envy becomes joy, and sloth becomes strength.  No soul will ever grow deep in the spiritual life unless God works passively in that soul by means of the dark night."

         John's words bring me back to different junctures in my own spiritual walk where I learned the same lessons -- most often while going through times of spiritual dryness or numbness when God felt a million miles away.
          In those times God taught me the lesson he speaks of: That in the spiritual life we can often do all the right things, for all the wrong reasons, and thus turn a virtue into a vice.
          And though we detest times of spiritual coldness, it seems that in many cases it is not until we trudge through the spiritual wastelands of the dry and arid desert, or walk alone through a night so dark it seems akin to death itself, that we realize we were pursuing the pleasures God gives (or better yet, the pleasures that spiritual pride and greed and luxury and gluttony can give) more than we were pursuing God Himself.
        It seems every believer must at some point learn to desire God more than the gifts He gives, lest we be guilty of using the Christian faith to commit spiritual idolatry! 

With you in the struggle to grow, Pastor Jeff

Managing Anger from Painful Experiences

Greetings All,

    This week's 'thought'  is for those who have had to wrestle with any type of underlying anger or rage resulting from painful experiences in their past.  In the following prayer, it was the rage of a lady who had been sexually abused as a young child.  Such abuse, unfortunately, is more common than we would like to believe (as is the suppressed anger or rage that often goes with it).  In fact, recent studies indicate that 38% of all women have been sexually abused at one time or another (at least the ones who have come forward to acknowledge it) -- though not necessarily in childhood.
     Thus I send out this thought/prayer for those who may fall into that category, or know someone who falls into that category.  It was written by Richard Foster to help one particular lady work through her anger. It is not (as he makes clear) a quick fix, nor is it a substitute for professional help, but simply a prayer offered to help people move forward in that long process toward healing. It is found in his superb book, "Prayer Treasury."  Foster advises that this prayer be read and prayed in small portions, over time, "allowing the Spirit to search your mind and heal your heart" as you do.
     I have encouraged the use of this prayer in counseling sessions, and have had people come to me after doing so, expressing that they found help for their soul in praying through it.  I trust it may minister to some who receive it in this mailing and see it now for the first time -- not just in regard to sexual abuse, but any abuse. Sometimes we speak of the healing that needs to take place, but fail to give the steps toward attaining it. This prayer gives some of those steps.

          A Prayer for Rage

      I. Acknowledgement
  

 

 Dear God, I come to you with an overwhelming anger, a burning rage.
  This rage is like a cancer shut up in my bones, eating away at my soul.

  Today, O God, I acknowledge this rage.
  I do not suppress it, or hide from it.
  Thank you, Lord, thank you for accepting me, rage and all.
 
      II. Expression

  O God, I feel a burning rage within.
  A fire gone wild.  Burning, always burning.
  God, I hate what was done to me.
  It was so evil. So wrong.

  Why this evil?
  Why this degradation?
  Why, why, why?

  My rage, O God, is the only power I have against this vicious world.
  That's why I cannot let it go.
  Please, God, don't ask me to let it go.

III. Turning

  God, I cannot separate my hatred for what was done,
  from the person who did it.
  I despise the deed.
  I loathe the person who did the deed.
  My rage is my only revenge.
  

  But, God, my rage destroys me too.
  I feel this seething anger searing my own soul.
  O Lord, my God, deliver me from the evil I would do to myself.
 

 IV. Forgiving

  I refuse to allow this evil to control me any more.
  I will not be held in bondage to my hate any longer.
  But, the strength to love is not in me.
  I must wait for your enabling.

 

  Now, in your great power, and with a trembling heart,
  I speak your word of forgiveness.
 
     

V. Healing

 

May your healing light shine, O God, into every crevice of my soul.
  Rage once made me feel strong.
  But now I receive your light, encircling me with love.

  I have not forgotten what was done to me.
  I will never forget.
  But today I choose to live as your child of infinite worth. 
  Amen."

    His prayer is followed by the words of Lady Julian of Norwich (1342-1413 A.D.) who said that God, in tender love, comforts all those trapped in pain and sin by speaking these words:


 

          "But all shall be well,
              and all shall be well,
                  and all manner of thing shall be well."

      May the healing power of Jesus touch touch your heart, Pastor Jeff

 

Setting Time Off

Greetings All,

This week's 'thought' comes to you from the late Henri Nouwen (1932-1997). It is found in "Devotional Classics," edited by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith, and consists of small excerpts taken from Nouwen's book, "Making All Things New." It has to do with the need for the spiritual discipline of solitude in our prayer lives. I share it with you because as I read it this morning it spoke both a corrective and encouraging word to me. I pray it will do so for you as well. Enjoy.

"Our worried, over-filled lives... are usually surrounded by so much outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when he is speaking to us. We have often become deaf, unable to know when God calls us, and unable to understand in which direction he calls us. Thus our lives have become absurd. In the word absurd we find the Latin word 'surdus' which means 'deaf.' A spiritual life requires discipline because we need to learn to listen to God, who constantly speaks but whom we seldom hear. When, however, we learn to listen, our lives become obedient lives. The word obedient comes from the Latin word 'audire' which means 'listening.' The spiritual discipline of listening is necessary in order to move slowly from an absurd to an obedient life, from a life filled with noisy worries to a life in which there is some free inner space where we can listen to our God and follow his guidance...

A spiritual discipline, therefore, is the concentrated effort to create some inner and outer space in our lives where this obedience can be practiced... Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and a place for God, and him alone. If we really believe not only that God exists, but also that he is actively present in our lives -- healing, teaching and guiding -- we need to set aside time, and set aside a space, to give him our undivided attention. Jesus says, 'Go to your private room and, when you have shut the door, pray to your Father who is in that secret place." (Matt. 6:6 Jerusalem Bible).

To bring some solitude into our lives is one of the most necessary but also most difficult disciplines. Even though we may have a deep desire for real solitude, we also experience a certain apprehension as we approach that solitary place and time. As soon as we are alone, without people to talk with, books to read, TV to watch, or phone calls to make [and we could add, texts to answer, Facebook posts to respond to, or computer games to distract us] an inner chaos opens up in us. This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again.

Entering a private room and shutting the door, therefore, does not mean that we immediately shut out all our inner doubts, anxieties, fears, bad memories, unresolved conflicts, angry feelings, and impulsive desires. On the contrary, when we have removed our outer distractions, we often find that our inner distractions manifest themselves to us in greater force. We often use those outer distractions of life to shield us from the interior noises. For this reason it is not surprising that we have a difficult time being alone. The confrontations with our inner conflicts can be too painful for us to bear.

Yet this makes the discipline of solitude all the more important. Entering into solitude doesn't come naturally to an occupied and preoccupied life... Therefore we must begin by carefully planning some solitude into our schedule. Five or ten minutes a day may be all we can tolerate... an hour, an afternoon, a day, a week every year... The amount of time will vary for each person according to temperament, age, job, lifestyle, and maturity. But we do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and listen to him. We may have to write it in black and white in our daily calendar so that nobody else can take away this period of time. Then we will be able to say to our friends, neighbors, students, customers, clients, or patients, "I'm sorry, but I've already made an appointment at that time and it can't be changed."

Once we have committed ourselves to spending time in solitude, we develop an attentiveness to God's voice in us... The pains and struggles we encounter in solitude become a way to hope, because that hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God's healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings. The discipline of solitude allows us gradually to come in touch with the hopeful presence of God in our lives, and allows us to taste even now the beginnings of the joy and peace which belong to the new heaven and new earth."

Three things hit me when I read his thoughts:

1.) The hardest "work" I may have to do in my whole day is the work of forcing myself to do nothing but sit, stop dwelling on what needs to get done, and listen! For most of us it is an intense struggle to become still and attentive toward God, since as Americans we wrestle with feeling "lazy" and "unproductive" if we spend more than 10 or 15 minutes a day in prayer. Culture has taught the little voice of conscience in our heads to function like an alarm clock that says: "Get up off your knees and DO something for goodness sake!" "Hurry," as Samuel Chadwick once said, "is the death of prayer."

2.) Realizing this is true I must set boundries and limits to my labor, activities and interactions with people in order to protect my time alone with God. I may get a lot done through constant activity and busyness, and that feels good, but without significant times of quiet prayer my spirit will shrivel and atrophy over time. As one book title reminds us, we are "Too Busy Not To Pray."

3.) To my shame I realize I have rarely broken an appointment with any person in order to spend time with God, but I have frequently, at a moments notice, broken set appointments with God to spend time with people -- even when there was no urgency involved. I need to take Nouwen's advice to heart and "say to (my) friends, neighbors, students, customers, clients, or patients, "I'm sorry, but I've already made an appointment at that time and it can't be changed."

With you in the struggle, Pastor Jeff