We often mistakenly think that one must actively seek Christ before God will "respond" by reaching out and saving that person. Yet Scripture frequently points out the fact that it is just the opposite -- it is God who sets His sights upon us, and reaches out in love to us, and seeks us out long before we ever have any inkling of seeking Him (and even as we procede to run from Him).
After graduating from college and working as employee for a little while, I started my own private business by using my father's money, which I inherited. Running my own business was neither easy nor pleasant. My lack of experience in trade made success difficult. My business went bankrupt and I accumulated debts that I couldn't pay back. I realized that I would soon end up in jail and no one would rescue me. To avoid this disaster and also get revenge for my failure, I decide to sell everything that I was able to and then vanish from sight. My plan was to disappear until I could recover, otherwise never to return back home. Through my experiences at work and my first business I was able to learn what no school or university can teach. I learned about the reality of society and life... I fled to a very far land where none of my debtors or even our justice system could reach me...
While I was totally hopeless and all my plans were screwed up, a bright idea appeared. An acquaintance advised me to associate with Christians perhaps they would help me. He assured me that unlike the Muslim brothers, Christians would help me and even provide me a job. Regardless of my sentiments against Christianity and Christians (Westerners), I decided to follow the friend's advice, to go to Church and to try my chance. I had no proper idea about Churches and the difference between them. Anyway, my motive wasn't to look for a new religion or God but finding a way to exit from my turmoil. One Sunday morning, I found a church in the newspaper.
After exploring the church for awhile, for several wrong motives, I decided to convert to Christianity and call myself a Christian. It was an outward conversion, but in the inside I was still a Muslim and the same old person. When I got baptized and immediately after my coming out of the water, I secretly confessed in my heart the Muslim's Shahadah (There is no God but Allah Muhammad prophet of Allah). However, only God and I knew what was really in my heart at that time... Islam wasn't just a religion for me, it was a part of my culture, identity, pride and being. As with most Muslims, I enjoyed discussing and to arguing about spiritual matters but was also skeptical, and didn’t just believe things naively. There were times where I leaned toward [Islamic] fundamentalism and there were also times where I leaned toward atheism. When I settled overseas, I had a chance to interact with people from different religions and backgrounds... During my first journey overseas I lived with two foreigners, one was an Arab (outwardly religious) and the other was a Western (worldly Christian). We, the Muslims, planned to convert the Christian. We tried very hard to convince him to renounce Christ and follow Muhammad but he was 'stubborn'. During my last debate with him about Christianity, especially the deity of Jesus, we ended up our conversation something like this:
He asked me: "Do you believe that God is all powerful and nothing is impossible for Him?"
I replied: "Yes, of course!"
Then He said: "Would it then be impossible for Him then to come to earth and to take a human form?"
Before answering his challenge, somebody came suddenly, so we had to change the subject. Later on, I tried to find an answer to prove him wrong but I couldn't. To avoid embarrassment, I simply ignored the matter, since it went against my Islamic belief. We never raised that topic again, but deep in my heart a first seed was sown.
After my outward conversion to Christianity, I began digging in the Bible for clues that could bring Islam and Christianity close to each other. However, I contrarily began to notice that the difference between them was getting deeper and larger to the point that there was no way these two religions could be from the same source... I decided to find the truth at any cost. I fasted for three days in a row without any food, except water and for the first time, I prayed earnestly from my deep heart: I called upon the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob. I cried out to the Creator of the universe, the Eternal God whomever He might be. I asked him to reveal to me the truth and nothing but His truth. I made a promise to Him that if He would answer my questions and reveal Himself to me, I will follow His path even if it will be different than Islam, Christianity and Judaism.
I waited for several weeks but it seemed that nothing was happening. I became very anxious and depressed. Finally, I decided to speak out and directly ask the pastor. I still remember, it was a Saturday evening. At the end of our meeting that evening, I told him that I couldn't find anywhere in the Bible where it talks about Jesus being God or about God being a triune God. Immediately and in a relaxed and gentle manner, he opened his Bible and asked me to take a look at the following verses: John 10:30-33: [Jesus said] "I and the Father are One." The Jews took up stones again to stone Him. Jesus answered them, "I showed you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you stoning Me?" The Jews answered Him, "For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy; and because You, being a man, make Yourself out to be God." [Also: I John 5:8-12 and I John 5:20]...