Sexual Temptation

Greetings All!

     I will get right to our topic for today: SEX.  Today's post is about sexual temptation.  That usually gets the attention of most since it's a struggle we've all faced, or do face, being people God created with sexual desires (unless we were "born eunuchs," as Jesus put it in Matthew 19:12, or born without a desire/ability for sexual fulfillment).
This post is lengthy, but worth reading if you are a Christian who cares about the things God cares about, and desires to gain victory in this area.  It is one of the best pieces of advice I've read on the issue, and comes to you from Jay Kesler. It is found in his book, "Being Holy, Being Human."   Jay (presently 83 years old, but written when he was much younger) was a former pastor in Illinois and Indiana, a former president of Youth for Christ, and formerly president of Taylor University.  His book is honest, practical, and helpful - a must read for the serious Christian or pastor.  It deals with Transparency, Expectations, Identity, Doubt, Money, the Pressure to perform, and other topics as well. With that said, he speaks here of just one on those many issues affecting holiness. Enjoy.

     “We all struggle in this area [of sexual temptation], and some have fallen,” says Kesler in a book written primarily to pastors.  “It's a serious problem, one of the most serious we face in the tension between being holy and being human.... Given the usual process by which sexual sin comes about, it naturally follows that the most important part of resisting sexual temptation is to maintain a good marriage relationship… I know that with all the demands we face, including obligations to our children, finding the time to maintain this kind of relationship with a spouse isn't easy — but there's simply no more important human relationship in the world for us to maintain. It's worth the effort and time and money it takes...

     Another big help to me in actually avoiding lust has been what I call contextualization. I pastored a church for fifteen years, and after about the twelfth year it dawned on me one day that I'd never had a sexual thought about any woman in the church. That amazed me, frankly, because I'm a sexual being like anyone else. I have sexual thoughts. I notice when I see a beautiful woman on the street; I didn't go blind when I became a Christian. In fact, earlier in my Christian life, when my buddies and I talked honestly, we all admitted that maintaining sexual purity was one of the major struggles of the younger man. Why hadn't I had sexual thoughts about women in the church? As I thought about it, I finally realized it was because I saw each of them in context. I knew all the people there so well that I knew everyone's husband, wife, son, and daughter, and many of the parents and grandparents, too. No one could be an object of lust to me without my being reminded of that person's other relationships. I knew that everyone there was a dear person to other people I knew and cared for. This included the women, and I couldn't look at them apart from their contexts of family and friends.  The only way you can prey on people and turn them into some kind of objects, especially for lust, is to mentally get them out of context. Conversely, if you think of them in context, you're not nearly so tempted to lust.

     Thus, I find it a good practice in ministry to continually think of people in context. For example, suppose I'm driving down the street and see some beautiful teenager who's dressed in an attention-getting way. My automatic response now is to contextualize her, to say to myself, “Hey, she's about the age of my daughter. I wonder who her parents are and how she gets along with them?” And suddenly the sexual part of it disappears. The girl hasn't changed, but my perception has. Instead of being an object of sexual thoughts, she's become someone's daughter, someone's little girl.  The same thing is true now that I find myself a college president on a campus that has its share of beautiful coeds. I can't say I haven't noticed them—I'm not blind—but I can honestly say that I don't think of them as a sexual turn-on. To me, they're all someone's daughters, someone's sisters, someone's granddaughters.  After I realized how my mind's eye was seeing people in context, I also realized that this is a biblical principle. It's what Paul told Timothy to do in — relate to older women as mothers, to younger women as sisters.

     I've also seen enough lives and ministries ruined by sexual sin that that's a deterrent for me. I've had frightening temptations in my own life that help deter me, too; just thinking about what might have happened if they'd gone another step in the wrong direction scares a lot of sense into me when I need it. We might call that putting yourself in context when you're tempted.  One time when I was much younger, I was flying to Denver on business, and a young woman in her twenties was sitting next to me. As we were flying, I noticed she was crying. I wondered if I should say anything or just respect her privacy. But after several minutes, I finally said, "Is there any way I can help you?” "I don't know," she said, then looked away. "Well, I'm involved in youth work, in Youth for Christ," I said. "And I'd be happy to just talk to you if that would help."  She began to open up then She said she had been engaged to a young man, and she'd just learned that he had run off to marry another woman. "The worst part of it is I'm still a virgin," she said.  She went on to say that she had always believed that if you kept yourself pure, everything would turn out right. Now she had decided that since a "wild girl" had stolen her man, her remaining pure had been to no avail, and she was going to go to some ski lodge and make up for lost time.  "Do you think it's worth giving up what you've always believed because of one painful experience?" I asked.  "I don't know," she said, then sank into silence.

     Finally she continued, "Well, where are you staying tonight?" I told her, and she said she was staying there, too. Then she suggested that maybe after we arrived we could "have a couple of drinks together and see how the evening turns out."  In effect, she was inviting me to help her initiate her new lifestyle.  "I don't want you to be confused," I said. "Let me show you my pictures." I took out my wallet and showed her my family photos. Though I didn't realize it at the time, I was putting myself in context. Looking at your wife and children really cools a potentially hot situation. After I showed her the photos, I went on, "I sympathize with the pain you feel. If you need someone to tell you you're pretty, let me tell you that you're very pretty. If you need someone to tell you you're sexually attractive, let me tell you that you're very attractive and desirable. But if you want me to say I'm willing to act on that desire, no, I'm not going to do it. You're vulnerable right now; you're in a difficult situation. Further, I'm married. I'm also a Christian. And I'm not going to do it because it would mean taking advantage of you and violating my commitments and my faith." Then I explained a bit of how my faith commitment guides my life.

     She was silent for a few minutes, but then she said, "Well, if I thought that by waiting the rest of my life I could find another man who would turn down the offer I made to you tonight, I'd stay a virgin till I found him.”  I replied, "There are more guys like me out there than you may think. I hope you don't go through with your plan."  When we got to Denver, I put the young woman in touch with some female Youth For Christ staff, and she stayed the night with them. They spent a few days with her and then sent her back home. So far, thank God, I've never been given that kind of offer when I was vulnerable. But I have been tempted, and it's always helped me to put both the woman and myself in context...  Sexual temptation is all around us these days, and if we're honest with ourselves, we know we're often vulnerable.  In spite of all we do to avoid tempting situations, there will be times, such as my experience on the plane, when temptation will stare us right in the face. Our job is to prepare ourselves and keep our marriages strong before we find ourselves in those situations so that when the temptations come, we'll be able to maintain our integrity—and our ministries.”

     A regular reading of the news is enough to assure us this is a common stumbling block for everyone -- Christian and non-Christian alike -- be it pastors or the people in the pews. But I would ask you to mull over his advice and put it into practice. For when practiced I can say from experience that it does work in helping one gain victory. Obviously, there are other pieces that are important, and John Piper shares an excellent portion that would be worth your time checking out in his book, "Future Grace," Chapter 17, "Applying the Power of Future Grace to Lust."  These two resources read and applied could go a long way toward helping break the addiction to pornography, or the lure of temptation which so many fall prey to in this area. A few dollars well spent, and these two books on your reading list, could save a lot of heartache.

 Fellow Sinner in the Struggle for Integrity and Godliness, Pastor Jeff

Not a Fan

Greetings All!

     Today's 'thought' comes to you once again from Kyle Idleman's book, "Not a Fan."  This is another one of the testimonies of people who were either not believers at all, or "fans" of Jesus at one point in their lives, but at some point in their lives realized that they yearned for something deeper than the superficial "go through the motions" religion they had been following.  In most cases -- usually as a result of going through sickness, or trauma, or addiction, or coming close to death -- the superficial showed itself for what it was as it could not sustain them in such times.

     These people, driven by pain, or a crisis that drove them to the end of themselves (and showed them their inability to control everything in life), surrendered to the only One who is really ever in control. They ceased being a "fan" of Jesus and became a true disciple and follower of Jesus.  This is Vijay Warrier's testimony - a man raised in India in the Hindu faith who grew up believing that the gods had given him favor.  Vijay was born as a Brahman, the highest caste of priests and had a mother who served as a priestess. Yet later in life, he would meet the Jesus who would change and bring a sense of fulfillment to his soul.  Enjoy.

     "I remember when my wife Girija grew very interested in the Bible and began attending church. It wasn't something I believed in or wanted to have anything to do with. I agreed to drive her to church, but I just sat in the car and smoked a few cigarettes. Sometimes my thoughts would wander to growing up in India, and being raised in the Hindu faith where my mother was a priestess in an Indian temple.

     My marriage had been arranged, but Gurija knew that our marriage wasn't just a forced agreement that was set up by our parents; there was a chemistry between us. I tried to be patient with her interest in the Bible. Gurija had attended a Christian school some years back, and that was how she had learned about Jesus. Our differing religious beliefs didn't help our unity in marriage. Looking back on the first ten years of our marriage, I see mostly conflict and frustration. 

     By 2005 Guija was going to church every weekend. I'm not sure why, but one weekend, instead of sitting in the car smoking and waiting for Girija to get out of church, I decided to go inside for a cup of coffee in the church cafe. There was a small cafe in the church where I sat with my coffee and couldn't help but overhear the sermon that was being broadcast from the sanctuary onto the video screen in front of me. I listened to the preacher for a while, intrigued by his words. From that point on, I sat in the cafe each Sunday morning, drinking coffee and listening to the sermons.

     One week Gurija asked me to come with her into a prayer room. "We have so many problems," she said, "we need someone to pray with us."  Even though I didn't believe in this kind of prayer, I went with her. In the prayer room, we met a husband and wife named Linn and Carol, and they spent some time praying with us.  Full of questions after hearing so many sermons, I began to ask Linn about Christianity. Over the next year, he and Carol answered many of my questions. Linn studied the Bible with me, praying for me often. Still, I wasn't familiar with the idea of just one god. This went against everything I had learned as a boy. Even worse, I knew that if I were to become a Christian, my family back in India would disown me. They would be so disappointed in me.

     But after much studying, prayer, and support from church members, I began to realize something incredible. For forty-two years I had been looking for something, for someone. That person was Jesus. I decided to allow him to work in me.  I needed it.  My marriage needed it -- we'd already had divorce papers drawn up and begun living separately.  It was now or never and I knew only Jesus could save me.

     So the next Sunday I professed my belief in Christ and was baptized. Right after being baptized, I baptized my two sons who also came to believe. That same day I moved back with my family. God has a plan for me, and he can heal all wounds and answer all questions. My name is Vijay Warrier, and I am not a fan." 

     A lot of us get confused and believe we are followers of Christ, when in fact we are simply fans attending church, week after week, lacking true intimacy with Christ. Vijay started to become a fan by believing in one God, and then over time, he began to experience God by engaging in the process of developing true intimacy with Him through God's grace in Jesus Christ.  "Fans" don’t mind making minor changes, or little touch ups, to decorate their lives. But it's not until they are "followers" that they don’t even mind Jesus overhauling, severely interfering, and turning their lives upside down!  And you?

    In the Service of Jesus, Pastor Jeff

Act Like Men -- 40 Days to Biblical Manhood

Greetings All!

Today's thought comes to you via James MacDonald, from his book, "Act Like Men -- 40 Days to Biblical Manhood."  A close friend who receives these "Thoughts for the Week" sent it to me thinking it would be helpful for others. After reading it I also thought it could be beneficial -- to both men and women -- though it seems to be directed exclusively toward men.
     I once spoke at a conference where a married man shared that his wife was jealous because he had a close "Jonathan/David" type friendship with another man in his church. (For those who may not know what that is, see I Samuel chapters 18-20).  She even asked him to end the relationship. Why? "Because although I've told her, she can't understand that men need deep friendships with other men."  Over the years I have come to see the truth of his statement.
     And I'm not talking of friendships that cause a man to ignore his wife and children, or skip out on his husbandly/fatherly obligations and responsibilities to them. That would be wrong.  No.  I'm speaking of the need for male to male friendships, and spiritual accountability, and camaraderie, and having each other's back, and encouraging each other to do the right and honorable thing.  The type of male to male relationships that would actually enhance the marriage and prevent the enormous amount to marital/family casualties we see happening all around us in our society today.

     One of the biggest problems today (for both men AND women) is a lack of time (or priority?) in establishing good, solid, healthy, godly, soul-nurturing, and life-sustaining friendships with those of the same gender.  As I have mentioned many times, the need for paid counselors would plummet (I'm convinced) if we just had good friends with whom we could transparently pour out the contents of our soul knowing they have our back and truly have our best interests in mind.

     But this is not about hearing from me!  Sorry!  I now defer to Mr. MacDonald who prefaces today's selection with these words: "Plain and simple, men need community with other men. Loving, you-before-me, dedicated relationship. If you have never had it, or don't really get it yet, or if you had that community and lost it, you know the cavity it leaves in your soul until you discover it again."   Enjoy.

Knock off the Lies

     "As I talk to men all around the world, I discover that they are not much different than we are (here in the States).  They need the same solutions, battle the same things, and believe the same lies. Earlier in this book we looked at the satanic strategy of using lies to disguise, divide, and destroy. Let's focus on that middle word of Satan's plan to defeat you. The word is "divide" and his strategy is to get a wedge between you and men who can support God's work in your life through loving mutual community.

     As always, he does this through lies. See if you recognize any of these common lies men believe that lead them to reject community and live in isolation [from each other]:
1. Nobody understand the struggles I am dealing with. 
2. I can't trust anyone. Total honesty will be used against me.
3. If someone tries to get close to me, they just want something. 
4. People like me, but they don't really know me. I can't risk total self-disclosure.
5. I've seen Christians kick a guy when he's down. No thanks.
6. Christian men are weak, crying and confessing. Oh please!
7. If I really face my secrets, the dam will burst and I will lose it.
8. What if I make myself known and the other guys don't reciprocate? 

     I hear these lies so frequently from the mouths of men that I know they are being implanted there by the "accuser of the brethren" (Rev. 12:9).  The way to defeat a lie of the enemy is: name the lie and insert the truth.  Jesus did this in Matthew 4 when Satan came to tempt Him after His forty-day fast in the wilderness. Satan urged Him to make stones into bread and Jesus said: "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God' (Matthew 4:4). This happened two more times, and each time Jesus defeated the lie of the enemy by quoting Scripture. Can we afford to do less?

      What do you believe about loving friendship with other men that keep your areas of defeat isolated and unchanged?  Take the first lie above: 'Nobody understands the struggles I am dealing with.'  That is clearly untrue because I Corinthians 10:13 says, 'No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond you ability, but with the temptation he will provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.' In every instance we need to name the lie and replace it in our thinking with the truth of God's Word. That's what it means to, 'resist the devil and he will flee from you' (James 4:7).

      For almost fifteen years I met with a group of men every Friday morning at 6:00 a.m.  Each man would report on what he had gleaned from God's Word personally that week and then we would pray for each other. We laughed, we instructed, we carried each other's burdens, and afterward we went out for breakfast. Looking back I regret ever breaking that pattern. I have found it here and there in other ways, but never as good as that until recently.

     The reason I withdrew from formal, regular, scheduled community was that I failed to experience the two things my doctoral thesis revealed men absolutely must experience to remain in community. First, men need confidentiality. They have to believe that what they disclose will never be shared with anyone -- not a spouse, not a cousin in a far country, no one.

     Second, men need to experience mutuality.  Men need to know that if they bring you in on whatever battles they have kept secret, you won't 'leave them hanging,' or pridefully conceal the truth about your own struggles. They need you to quickly match their personal disclosure.  'If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us' (I John 1:8)."

     I trust his words would prompt you, if you struggle alone and isolated (as a man) to get involved in a community of godly, transparent and trustworthy men where you can discover the blessed truth of what true Christian community is meant to be and facilitate.  If you are a woman, the same is true for you -- seek out the support of other godly women. And if you are a wife (or husband), it would be to your advantage (as well as that of your spouse) to encourage them to get involved with a group -- men with men, and women with women -- where they/you can apply the truth of God's Word to the soul in the context of confidentiality, transparency, accountability and a mutual commitment to grow into the fullness of maturity in Christ.

     And if you see that need, do not delay or put it off!   Rugged individualism and isolated independence are NOT what the Bible advocates. They are actually part of the problem.

With Prayers That You Will Determine to Make That Step, Pastor Jeff 

Sexual Morality in a Christless World

Greetings All,

     This week's selection is about sex. Or more to the point, it's about the new views of sexual morality and how they vary from Christian sexual morality.  I copied and pasted it from a blog by Tim Challies.
     It's actually a critique of a book by Matthew Rueger entitled, "Sexual Morality in a Christless World."  Yet it offers to us some very helpful insights about the revolutionary nature of Christian sexual ethics in light of history, and I would add, the alarming rise of sexual violence, human sex trafficking of children and adults, and the type of environment that arises when people throw off all thoughts of sexual restraint.  I recommend both this blog entry by Challies as well as the book by Matthew Rueger. Enjoy.

Sexual Morality in a Christless World

Tim Challies

Times are changing. Sexual morality is undergoing nothing less than a revolution as traditional morality gives way to something radically different. The former morality, based on the Christian scriptures, is being shoved aside by a new one that not only departs from the Bible, but outright rejects it. Meanwhile, Christians who abide by those traditional sexual morals are increasingly seen as outcasts, backward people dangerously hung up on ancient, oppressive principles. It is all very disconcerting.

Into the fray steps Matthew Rueger with his book, "Sexual Morality in a Christless World."  Though the last few years have brought us no shortage of books on how to live on this side of the sexual revolution, Rueger offers something unique… he shows that Christian sexual morality has not always been traditional but was at one time its own revolution. In other words, Christians have been here before, and there is much we can learn from our own history… He offers a fascinating yet disturbing examination of what Roman culture considered good and normal. “Rome’s sexual climate is a model of the utopia for which today’s sexual ‘progressives’ are striving.”

     Yet it was hardly Utopian. He shows that “In the Roman mind, man was the conqueror who dominated on the battlefield as well as in the bedroom. He was strong, muscular, and hard – in both body and spirit. Society looked down on him only when he appeared weak or soft.” Respectable men were permitted to have sexual relations with just about anyone, provided they were the aggressors rather than receivers of such sexual acts.  Marriage existed, of course, but was not first about mutual love, but about the provision of an heir. A far purer form of love was the love of a man for a boy, so a culture of pederasty arose in which adult men carried on overt sexual relationships with adolescent boys. Prostitution was rampant. Rape was widespread and accepted, provided a man raped someone of a lower status. In so many ways Roman sexual morality was abhorrent and one of its most prominent features was the strong dominating the weak.

     And then Christians showed up. Christians began to teach that men were to be chaste, that homosexuality and pederasty were sinful, that men were to love and honor their wives, that wives and husbands had equal authority over one another’s bodies. Such teaching was not only seen as repressive, but as full-out destabilizing to the Roman system. No wonder, then, that the whole culture turned against Christians.  “Though Christian morality promoted genuine self-emptying love and was positive for society, it nonetheless set Christ’s people against the prevailing culture. Romans did not like being told that some of their favorite activities were displeasing to the Christian God, and they pushed back.”  And here is where we can draw important lessons for our day, for today, too, Christian sexual morality is seen as destabilizing to the culture around us, as a serious societal sin…

     Rueger also shows that Christian morality was almost as opposed to contemporary Judaism as it was to Rome. This was especially true in according equal rights to men and women, in protecting women from divorce, and in putting away notions of sexual purity that harmed women. Again, Christianity offered a sexual morality that was kind and equitable and that protected the weak and marginalized.

     With all of that context, he is able to show how these Christian teachings were full-out counter-cultural, how they were radical, not traditional. He shows how Christian sexual morality helped individuals, helped the marginalized, and helped society—it was a tremendous blessing to everyone.  Yet Christians suffered because their views were seen as destabilizing and harmful. Though today we see that their morality was actually a blessing, at that time it was considered a curse. And Christians suffered terribly for it...

     Rueger says “My desire in writing this book is to help Christians engage the world around them in reasoned discussion.” He does so very well. And his greatest contribution is helping us understand that this is not the first time that Christians have been at odds with the culture. This is not the first time the biblical understanding of sex and sexuality has caused the culture to turn on Christians, to consider them disloyal, to push them to the margins. For that reason we need books like this one to interpret the times and equip us for today and the days to come. I thoroughly enjoyed this work and highly recommend it."

     As I have repeatedly stated over the years (in light of studying history) -- our cultures sexual morals (or progressive eradication of them) is not a sign of progress, but the sign of a cultural regression which is taking us back to what existed before Christianity appeared on the scene some 2000 years ago.  And as those sexual morals are separated entirely from Christ, and Christianity, history will likely repeat itself and we will actually see more sexual violence toward women, more children put into the growing sex trade, and a continuing devaluation of the Christian virtue of committed and sacrificial love between a husband and a wife. And it will become harder and harder to police, because it will become more and more common, and more and more acceptable, and seen as less and less problematic to the societal conscience.

     As Jesus predicted for the latter days, "the love of most will grow cold" (Matthew 24:12).  And Paul restated that same truth when he said that people being "without love" (for anyone but themselves or money or pleasure - II Timothy 3:2-5) will be a sign of the approach of the last days.

     No predictions. I know better!  Just some earnest food for thought, Pastor Jeff

The Blessings of Marriage

Greetings All!

     Today I want to share a selection having to do with marriage -- though I must stress it's a helpful thought to consider whether one is married or not!  I do not know the title or publisher of the book I originally took it from years ago, though I did write down the author's name - Theodore Parker.
     I have used this quote numerous times at weddings and people have expressed their appreciation for it, and most all their complete agreement with it -- especially those who have been married for any length of time!  It is, in my humble opinion, worthy of your focused, thoughtful, and discerning consideration, since it contains much truth and wisdom. Enjoy.

“It takes years to marry two hearts completely, even of the most loving and tender type.  Every happy marriage is a long falling in love. Young people think love belongs only to the silken-haired and crimson-cheeked.  And it does in its beginnings.

But the golden marriage is a part of love about which the Bridal day knows nothing.  A mature and complete marriage, where wedlock is everything one could desire, where the ideal becomes actual, is not a common thing.  It is perhaps as rare as perfect personal beauty.

Men and women are married fractionally — a small fraction here, followed by a larger fraction there.  Very few are ever married totally, and those that are, only achieve it after some forty or fifty years of gradual growth, adjustment, perseverance and experimentation.

When a man and woman are successfully in love, their whole activity is energized and victorious.  They walk better, their metabolism improves, they think more clearly, their secret worries drop away, the world is fresh and interesting, and they can do more than they ever dreamed of doing.

In love of this kind, sexual intimacy in not the dead end of desire, as it is in purely romantic or promiscuous love. It is the periodic affirmation of inward delight in each other, and the crown of an active, intentional and well-lived life.  Knit together by the bonds of friendship and mutual affection, their love is as interesting as it is enduring — able to withstand the winds of adversity and change, bear hardships, build upon the mistakes of the past, and use them as opportunities for forgiveness and growth.”

     In a society which sees less and less reason for marriage (4 out of 10 thirty-and-under-people now see no need for it at all), this "thought" gives us a better insight into the blessings of marriage, how one should view it, and what it might take to improve it.

     The health of the family unit is key to the preservation of any civil society, and the health of marriages is key to the health of that family unit.  We must, therefore -- especially in a society like ours which is decidedly not "marriage-friendly" -- always be praying for those who have entered into this, "bond and covenant of marriage (which) was established by God in creation."  This relationship of committed love received Jesus' stamp of approval by, "His presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee."   After all, it's a way of life which, "signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and His Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people"  (from The Celebration of Marriage, Book of Common Prayer).

May you be encouraged to persevere in this God-ordained relationship, and partake of the blessings God intended through it, Pastor Jeff

Practical Christianity

Greetings All!

After a couple weeks of vacation I returned to the office today. Part of what I had on my list to do was send out this insightful little "thought" regarding temptation and fighting sin.  It comes from a book entitled , "Practical Christianity," which contains helpful advice on the Christian life from over 80 well-respected Christian authors.

     This particular selection is from Adrian Rogers.  His advice is short and simple but wise.   Enjoy!

Filling Legitimate Desires Illegitimately

     "The devil is a pervert. He cannot create things himself. He can only take things God has created and twist them. We sin when we give in to the devil's temptations and try to fulfill legitimate God'-given desires in an illegitimate way. For example, food is a God-given necessity, but gluttony is a sin.

     Sex within a loving marriage is a God-given blessing, but adultery is sin. Having and enjoying material things is a God-given privilege, but pride, dishonesty, stealing, greed and selfishness are sins. When we are tempted, we need to figure out what legitimate desire the devil is trying to pervert. Then we need to find God's way to fulfill that desire legitimately. If we do that we will have no itch the devil can scratch.

     Rather than always trying not to sin, we ought to turn our focus in another direction -- on finding our satisfaction in the Lord Jesus Christ. I think parents, pastors, school teachers and youth workers make this mistake with young people. We try to keep our young people from doing wrong. If you've ever tried to take a bone away from a dog, you know that's a good way to get bit. The way to do it is to lay a piece of red meat in front of the dog. He will drop the bone in order to grab the meat. We need to show young people how they can get their needs legitimately fulfilled in the Lord Jesus Christ. Then they won't have to guard the bones."  

     It is helpful, as he points out, to remember that "sin" is often nothing more than seeking to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways.  It is to meet them prematurely, in excess, or outside the boundaries God has set for their enjoyment or exercise, The particular need is not evil, nor is the fulfillment of that need when met in a godly fashion.  The "sin" lies in the inappropriate way we go about seeking to meet holy, God-given and legitimate needs. For more often than not, the devil's temptation (or perversion) is to tempt us to partake before we should, consuming more than we should, in a way that violates how we should -- thereby dishonoring the wise and good purposes of God in creation.

In the Bonds of Gospel Fellowship, Pastor Jeff

Not a Fan

Greetings All,

Today's '"thought" comes from a book by Kyle Idleman entitled, "Not a Fan."
     If you have not read it, you should. It's an honest, forthright, needed challenge to much of what is culturally accepted as Christianity, or being a Christian, in America, and there are few, if any believers, who could not benefit from picking up a copy and making your way through it.  For as most surely know by now, we can all misconstrue what it means to be a follower of Jesus, or let once earnest faith and obedience lapse into empty habit.
     And, with that being said, the following excerpt is from the opening chapter.  Enjoy.

     "It may seem that there are many followers of Jesus. But if they were honestly to define the relationship they have with him, I am not sure it would be accurate to describe them as followers. It seems to me that there is a more suitable word to describe them. They are not followers of Jesus.  They are fans of Jesus. Here is the most basic definition of "fan" in the dictionary: "An enthusiastic admirer." 
     Its the guy who goes to the football game with no shirt on and a painted chest. He sits in the stands and cheers for his team. He's got a signed jersey hanging on his wall at home, and multiple bumper stickers on the back of his car.  But he's never in the game.  He never breaks a sweat or takes a hard hit in the open field.  He knows all about the players and can rattle off their latest stats, but he doesn't know the players. He yells and cheers, but nothing is really required of him. There is no sacrifice he has to make. And the truth is, as excited as he seems, if the team he's cheering for starts to let him down, and has a few off seasons, his passion will wane very quickly.  After several losing seasons you can expect him to jump off the bandwagon and begin cheering for some other team. He's an enthusiastic admirer.

     It's the woman who never misses the celebrity news shows. She always picks up the latest People magazine. She's a huge fan of some actress who is the latest Hollywood sensation. And this woman not only knows every movie this actress has been in, she knows what high school this actress went to.  She knows the birthday of this actress and she knows the name of her first boyfriend.  She even knows what this actress's real hair color is -- something the actress herself is no longer certain of.  She knows everything there is to know.  But she does't know the actress. She's a huge fan, but she's just a fan. She is an enthusiastic admirer.

     And I think Jesus has a lot of fans these days. Fans who cheer for him when things are going well, but walk away when its a difficult season. Fans who sit safely in the stands cheering, but they know nothing of the sacrifice and pain of the field.  Fans of Jesus who know all about him, but don't know him. But Jesus was never interested in having fans. When he defines what kind of relationship he wants, "enthusiastic admirer" isn't an option. My concern is that many of our churches in America have gone from being sanctuaries to becoming stadiums.  And every week all the fans come to the stadium where they cheer for Jesus but have no interest in truly following him.  The biggest threat to the church today is fans who call themselves Christians but aren't actually interested in following Christ. They want to be close enough to get all the benefits, but not so close that it requires anything from them.

     So, are you a Fan or a Follower?

     Many fans mistakenly identify themselves as followers by using cultural comparisons. They look at the commitment level of people around them and feel like their relationship is solid. Essentially they grade their relationship with Jesus on the curve, and as long as they are more spiritual than the next guy, they figure everything is fine. That's why some fans are almost glad when its found out that the Christian family everyone admires so much has a child who rebels, or a marriage that struggles to stay together isn't as perfect as it appeared. The curve just got a little lower.

     Have you noticed that when we compare ourselves to others as a way to measure our relationship with Christ, we almost always put ourselves up against those who are spiritually anemic? I have a tendency to take this approach in measuring myself as a husband. I try and convince my wife how good she's got it by pointing to a friend whose husband never takes her on a date, or by telling her about my buddy who forgot his twenty-year anniversary...

     Another measurement fans use is the religious ruler. They point to their observance of religious rules and rituals as evidence that they are really followers. After all, they reason, would a fan go to church every weekend, and put money in the offering, and volunteer in the nursery, and listen exclusively to Christian radio, and not watch R-rated movies, and only drink wine-coolers at the party? "Hello?! Of course I'm a follower. I am not doing all that for nothing!"  Yet here's the real question: How does Jesus define what it means to follow him?  Whatever measurement he gives is the one we should use."

     The rest of the book fleshes this out, chapter by chapter, starting with: 1.) "You must be born again."  2.) Knowing Jesus intimately rather than simply knowing about him. 3.) Having him as one of many, or your one and only.  4.) Following Jesus rather than following the rules.  And many more... 

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     It is true. We often define what a relationship with Jesus is far differently than Jesus does.  For even a quick glance at the Gospel's reveals that Jesus demands a relationship that requires of us an "all of nothing" response.  Its, "leave everything and come follow me."  It's "take up your cross and follow me." It's "unless you love father and mother, sister and brother, yes, even your own life less than me, you cannot be my disciple."

     Christianity is not something we can add on to everything else in our lives to make us feel more complete.  It demands our all -- our full commitment and unreserved allegiance to Him.  To those people over the years who have told me, "I tried Christianity and it just didn't work for me,"  my response has been: "That's because you were just testing the waters, or toying with it, and Christianity only "works" when you embrace it unreservedly.  It only "works" when you hold nothing back."

That we might no longer be fans, Pastor Jeff