Sexual Temptation

Greetings All!

     I will get right to our topic for today: SEX.  Today's post is about sexual temptation.  That usually gets the attention of most since it's a struggle we've all faced, or do face, being people God created with sexual desires (unless we were "born eunuchs," as Jesus put it in Matthew 19:12, or born without a desire/ability for sexual fulfillment).
This post is lengthy, but worth reading if you are a Christian who cares about the things God cares about, and desires to gain victory in this area.  It is one of the best pieces of advice I've read on the issue, and comes to you from Jay Kesler. It is found in his book, "Being Holy, Being Human."   Jay (presently 83 years old, but written when he was much younger) was a former pastor in Illinois and Indiana, a former president of Youth for Christ, and formerly president of Taylor University.  His book is honest, practical, and helpful - a must read for the serious Christian or pastor.  It deals with Transparency, Expectations, Identity, Doubt, Money, the Pressure to perform, and other topics as well. With that said, he speaks here of just one on those many issues affecting holiness. Enjoy.

     “We all struggle in this area [of sexual temptation], and some have fallen,” says Kesler in a book written primarily to pastors.  “It's a serious problem, one of the most serious we face in the tension between being holy and being human.... Given the usual process by which sexual sin comes about, it naturally follows that the most important part of resisting sexual temptation is to maintain a good marriage relationship… I know that with all the demands we face, including obligations to our children, finding the time to maintain this kind of relationship with a spouse isn't easy — but there's simply no more important human relationship in the world for us to maintain. It's worth the effort and time and money it takes...

     Another big help to me in actually avoiding lust has been what I call contextualization. I pastored a church for fifteen years, and after about the twelfth year it dawned on me one day that I'd never had a sexual thought about any woman in the church. That amazed me, frankly, because I'm a sexual being like anyone else. I have sexual thoughts. I notice when I see a beautiful woman on the street; I didn't go blind when I became a Christian. In fact, earlier in my Christian life, when my buddies and I talked honestly, we all admitted that maintaining sexual purity was one of the major struggles of the younger man. Why hadn't I had sexual thoughts about women in the church? As I thought about it, I finally realized it was because I saw each of them in context. I knew all the people there so well that I knew everyone's husband, wife, son, and daughter, and many of the parents and grandparents, too. No one could be an object of lust to me without my being reminded of that person's other relationships. I knew that everyone there was a dear person to other people I knew and cared for. This included the women, and I couldn't look at them apart from their contexts of family and friends.  The only way you can prey on people and turn them into some kind of objects, especially for lust, is to mentally get them out of context. Conversely, if you think of them in context, you're not nearly so tempted to lust.

     Thus, I find it a good practice in ministry to continually think of people in context. For example, suppose I'm driving down the street and see some beautiful teenager who's dressed in an attention-getting way. My automatic response now is to contextualize her, to say to myself, “Hey, she's about the age of my daughter. I wonder who her parents are and how she gets along with them?” And suddenly the sexual part of it disappears. The girl hasn't changed, but my perception has. Instead of being an object of sexual thoughts, she's become someone's daughter, someone's little girl.  The same thing is true now that I find myself a college president on a campus that has its share of beautiful coeds. I can't say I haven't noticed them—I'm not blind—but I can honestly say that I don't think of them as a sexual turn-on. To me, they're all someone's daughters, someone's sisters, someone's granddaughters.  After I realized how my mind's eye was seeing people in context, I also realized that this is a biblical principle. It's what Paul told Timothy to do in — relate to older women as mothers, to younger women as sisters.

     I've also seen enough lives and ministries ruined by sexual sin that that's a deterrent for me. I've had frightening temptations in my own life that help deter me, too; just thinking about what might have happened if they'd gone another step in the wrong direction scares a lot of sense into me when I need it. We might call that putting yourself in context when you're tempted.  One time when I was much younger, I was flying to Denver on business, and a young woman in her twenties was sitting next to me. As we were flying, I noticed she was crying. I wondered if I should say anything or just respect her privacy. But after several minutes, I finally said, "Is there any way I can help you?” "I don't know," she said, then looked away. "Well, I'm involved in youth work, in Youth for Christ," I said. "And I'd be happy to just talk to you if that would help."  She began to open up then She said she had been engaged to a young man, and she'd just learned that he had run off to marry another woman. "The worst part of it is I'm still a virgin," she said.  She went on to say that she had always believed that if you kept yourself pure, everything would turn out right. Now she had decided that since a "wild girl" had stolen her man, her remaining pure had been to no avail, and she was going to go to some ski lodge and make up for lost time.  "Do you think it's worth giving up what you've always believed because of one painful experience?" I asked.  "I don't know," she said, then sank into silence.

     Finally she continued, "Well, where are you staying tonight?" I told her, and she said she was staying there, too. Then she suggested that maybe after we arrived we could "have a couple of drinks together and see how the evening turns out."  In effect, she was inviting me to help her initiate her new lifestyle.  "I don't want you to be confused," I said. "Let me show you my pictures." I took out my wallet and showed her my family photos. Though I didn't realize it at the time, I was putting myself in context. Looking at your wife and children really cools a potentially hot situation. After I showed her the photos, I went on, "I sympathize with the pain you feel. If you need someone to tell you you're pretty, let me tell you that you're very pretty. If you need someone to tell you you're sexually attractive, let me tell you that you're very attractive and desirable. But if you want me to say I'm willing to act on that desire, no, I'm not going to do it. You're vulnerable right now; you're in a difficult situation. Further, I'm married. I'm also a Christian. And I'm not going to do it because it would mean taking advantage of you and violating my commitments and my faith." Then I explained a bit of how my faith commitment guides my life.

     She was silent for a few minutes, but then she said, "Well, if I thought that by waiting the rest of my life I could find another man who would turn down the offer I made to you tonight, I'd stay a virgin till I found him.”  I replied, "There are more guys like me out there than you may think. I hope you don't go through with your plan."  When we got to Denver, I put the young woman in touch with some female Youth For Christ staff, and she stayed the night with them. They spent a few days with her and then sent her back home. So far, thank God, I've never been given that kind of offer when I was vulnerable. But I have been tempted, and it's always helped me to put both the woman and myself in context...  Sexual temptation is all around us these days, and if we're honest with ourselves, we know we're often vulnerable.  In spite of all we do to avoid tempting situations, there will be times, such as my experience on the plane, when temptation will stare us right in the face. Our job is to prepare ourselves and keep our marriages strong before we find ourselves in those situations so that when the temptations come, we'll be able to maintain our integrity—and our ministries.”

     A regular reading of the news is enough to assure us this is a common stumbling block for everyone -- Christian and non-Christian alike -- be it pastors or the people in the pews. But I would ask you to mull over his advice and put it into practice. For when practiced I can say from experience that it does work in helping one gain victory. Obviously, there are other pieces that are important, and John Piper shares an excellent portion that would be worth your time checking out in his book, "Future Grace," Chapter 17, "Applying the Power of Future Grace to Lust."  These two resources read and applied could go a long way toward helping break the addiction to pornography, or the lure of temptation which so many fall prey to in this area. A few dollars well spent, and these two books on your reading list, could save a lot of heartache.

 Fellow Sinner in the Struggle for Integrity and Godliness, Pastor Jeff

The Intrusive Word, Preaching to the Unbaptized

Greetings All,

I like stories. I do.  Not fiction, but stories that are true.  And I hope you like them as well, since this week's"thought"  is a story.  A true story.  One that is a little humorous, a little sad, and a little challenging as well. It comes to you from William Willimon and is taken from the preface of his book, "The Intrusive Word, Preaching to the Unbaptized."  Enjoy.


     

     "In my last congregation, we decided that we needed to grow. We voted to launch a program of evangelism... You know what that means. It's the, "We had better go out and get new members of we'll die" syndrome..  Our church had begun a two-decade decline in membership, so we figured that a little church-growth strategy was in order.  We studied a program from our denomination telling us how to get new members. Among other things, the church-growth program advocated a system of door-to-door visitation. So we organized ourselves into groups of two and, on an appointed Sunday afternoon, we set out to visit, and invite people to our church.

     The teams went out, armed with packets of pamphlets describing our congregation, our denomination, and fliers portraying me, the smiling, accessible pastor, inviting people to our church. Each team was given a map with their assigned street. Helen and Gladys were given a map. They were clearly told to go down Summit Drive and to TURN RIGHT. That's what they were told. I heard the team leader tell them, "You go down Summit Drive and turn right. Do you hear me, Helen? That's down Summit Drive and turn right."  But Helen and Gladys, both approaching eighty, after lifetimes of teaching elementary school, were better at giving directions than receiving them. Thy turned left, venturing down into the housing projects to the west of Summit Drive...  [They] proceeded to evangelize the wrong neighborhood, and thereby ran the risk of evangelizing the wrong people.

     Late that afternoon, each team returned to the church to make their reports. Helen and Gladys had only one interested person to report -- a woman named Verleen. Nobody on their spurious route was interested in visiting our church, nobody but Verleen. She lived with her two children in a three-room-apartment in the projects, we were told. Although she had never been to a church in her life, Verleen wanted to visit ours. This is what you get, I said to myself, when you don't follow directions. This is what you get when you won't do what the pastor tells you to do. You get a woman from the projects named Verleen.

The next Sunday, Helen and Gladys proudly presented Verleen at the 11:00 service, along with her two feral-looking children.  Verleen liked the service so much she said that she wanted to attend the Women's Thursday Morning Bible Study.  On Thursday, Verleen appeared, proudly clutching her new Bible, a gift from Helen, the first Bible Verleen had ever seen, much less owned. I was leading the study on the prescribed reading for the coming Sunday, Luke 4, the story of Jesus' temptation in the wilderness. "Have any of you ever been faced with temptation and, with Jesus' help, resisted?" I asked the group after presenting my material. "Have any of you refused some temptation because of your Christian commitment?"  One of the women told about how, just the week before, there  was some confusion in the supermarket checkout line, and before she knew it, she was standing in the parking lot with a loaf of bread she hadn't paid for.  "At first I thought, 'why should I pay for it? They have enough money here as it is.' But then I thought, 'No, you are a Christian.' So I went back in the store and paid them for that loaf of bread."  I made some approving comment.

     It was then that Verleen spoke up. "A couple years ago, I was into cocaine really big. You know what that's like!  You know how that stuff makes you crazy.  Well, anyway, my boyfriend, not the one I got now, the one who was the daddy of my first child, that one, well, we knocked over a gas station one night.  Got two hundred dollars out of it.  It was as simple as taking candy from a baby.  Well, my boyfriend, he says to me, "Let's knock off that Seven-eleven store down on the corner.'  And something in me, it says, 'No, I held up that gas station with you, but I ain't going to hold up no convenience store.'  He beat the hell out of me, but I still said, 'No.'  It felt great to say 'No,' cause that's the only time in my life I ever said 'No' to anything. Made me feel like I was somebody."  Through the stunned silence I managed to mutter, "Well, er, uh, that's resisting temptation. That's sort of what this text is about. And now it's time for our closing prayer."  After I stumbled out of the church parlor and was standing out in the parking lot helping Helen into her Plymouth, she said to me, "You know, I can't wait to get home and get on the phone and invite people to come next Thursday!  Your Bible studies used to be dull. I think I can get a good crowd for this!"...

     Verleen taught me that evangelism is not about getting new members for the church...  Evangelism is not about helping more nice, buttoned-down, middle-class folk like me to find deeper meaning in our lives. Evangelism is a gracious, unmanageable, messy by-product of the intrusions of God into the lives of people.  Verleen was not the only one who intruded into our nice, bourgeois club called Northside United Methodist Church.  She had been brought there, I believe, by Another. Time and again in our life together as a church, just when we get everything all figured out, the pews bolted down, and everyone blissfully adjusted to the status quo, God has intruded, inserting some topsy-turvy-turned life like Verleen, just to remind the baptized that God is large, unimaginable, and full of surprises...  I contend that, through evangelism - through repeated confrontations with the intrusive grace of God - the church can be born again. By letting God use us in God's never-ending pursuit of the unbaptized, the baptized can rediscover what it means for us to be the church. That unlikely gathering of those who are called to sign, signal, and witness to the graciousness of God in a world dying for lack of salvation."

     Willimon dedicated his book to Verleen.  His experience struck me because I have also experienced the blessing of God bringing along very real, transparent, 'don't-yet-know-church-words-or-culture' people like Verleen.  A non-churched addict who had contracted aids through sharing needles, and was initially dating a prostitute. A man I had the privilege of baptizing him before he passed.

     Another was a young lady, who after much prodding by a friend, finally came to our church in Honduras in an expensive car she had borrowed from a friend.  She parked on the steep hill in front of the church, and during the service the emergency brake let loose. One of the greeters interrupted the service to ask if anyone owned a grey Mercedes, because it had just rolled down the hill into a brick wall. At that, the lady jumped up from her seat, and in front of everyone (in a very loud voice) blurted out: "Oh ___!"  And, despite the initially stunned faces, the church elders were so happy she had joined with us, they paid for the repairs.

     Another time, a gentleman who struggled with alcohol (and had previously gotten into a fight with his wife in our front yard!) called us to come down to his house because he'd "found Jesus."  When we arrived at his house, he was watching a VHS (some of you remember what those are) of a Bill Gaither Concert.  And at one point in the concert, he was so moved by joy (I can't remember the song), that he leaped up where he was standing, and jumped so high, that his head hit the glass globe of a hanging light and shattered it all over him and the floor!  And that doesn't even include the young new-to-church ex-nightclub dancer, who offered a prayer request during the service with such descriptive language that some of the older folk almost turned pale from shock!

     You see, sometimes Christians can forget that Jesus' band of disciples were not all moral, straight-laced, upstanding, well-educated, middle-class, "grew-up-in-church-every-week" type people.  Some came from the other side of the tracks.  Some shocked those who were the self-appointed guardians of the religious status-quo.  It's supposed to be that way. In fact, if the Verleen's of the world are not attracted to our churches, or feeling welcomed there, we are doing something wrong. For as we see in the gospels, sinners (the really bad ones like Zealots, prostitutes and tax collectors) were attracted to Jesus, felt loved by Jesus, did not feel judged by Jesus, and wanted to be around Jesus. It's something that should be true of us as well if we are Christians (or as the word means, "little Christ's"). Dare we pray for more gracious intrusions from people like Verleen?

Living in the Grace of Jesus, Pastor Jeff

Tortured for Christ

Greetings All,

     This week’s “thought” comes from a man whose faith and commitment to Jesus I have admired for years.  Shortly after I came to Christ 38 years ago, I headed to the Dominican Republic as a short-term missionary.  At one point I came across a book in the mission’s library.  It was Richard Wurmbrand’s autobiographical sketch of the 14 years he spent in a Communist prison camp in Romania for being a Christian - “Tortured for Christ.” 

     It was the first Christian book I ever read cover to cover in one sitting, and I have given out many copies to friends ever since! The two stories I share today were related by Wurmbrand to a friend, and are samples of what you will find in that book.  They come from the most recent “Voice of the Martyr’s” magazine.   Enjoy.

     Story #1:

     “Richard once overheard a conversation between a pastor named Simeon and a thief named Cunia.  Every day Cunia stole Simeon’s eyeglasses and then offered to return them in exchange for the pastor’s supply of sugar. Pastor Simeon never complained, and then one day he said to the thief, “I will give you the sugar gladly. You don’t need to blackmail me by taking my glasses.”  “Why don’t you get angry with me and report me?” Cunia asked.  “Because I want you to become a better man,” Simeon replied, “I love you.”

     “Nobody loves me,” Cunia said.  “I am a thief.”  “It is Christmas -- Jesus’ birth,” Simeon continued.  “He loved thieves so much that He likened Himself to a thief who comes in the night.  I too have learned much from thieves.  You are passionate in your trade. You go to great lengths to get money. You suffer repeatedly, but, once freed, you revert to stealing. You are a model of perseverance.  Like you, I too like gold. I have chosen as my eternal abode a city where even the streets are paved with gold. Jesus came from there to enrich us. There is no need to steal anymore.”  He went on to tell Cunia about the Son of God who was born in a stable to save us...

     Wurmbrand said of Pastor Simeon, “On Christmas the Son of God was made a man that we might become children of God. His aim has been fulfilled. There are real children of God.”

     Story #2:

     “On Christmas Eve, while Richard lay in bed, an abbot named Iscu lay in another bed on his right, awaiting death from the tortures he received. The abbot was serene knowing he would soon be with Jesus in heaven…  On Richard’s left was another prisoner – the man who had tortured Iscu.  His comrades had turned on him and he too had been imprisoned and tortured.  Distraught by his deeds, this man woke Richard during the night.  “I have committed horrible crimes,” he confessed. “I can find no rest. Help me,” he pleaded.

     Just then, Iscu called two other prisoners to his side to help him. Leaning on them, he slowly walked to his former torturer and sat down on his bedside. “You were young and did not know what you were doing,” he said, caressing the man’s head. “I forgive you and love you, as do all the other Christians you have mistreated. And if we sinners who have been saved by Jesus can love like this, how much more is He ready to erase all the evil you have done, to cleanse you fully. Only repent.”

     In that common cell in which there was no privacy, Richard heard the torturer confessing his crimes to the one he had tortured…  Both men died that night, on Christmas Eve.  It was not simply a commemoration of the event in Bethlehem. It was Jesus being born in the heart of a criminal.”

     Such a degree of love really is amazing.  Who could explain it except as the fruit of a very real and true faith in Jesus Christ.  And what a blessing it is for those who have messed up so badly to discover that salvation is by the grace of Jesus, and therefore no one is too far gone to be beyond the reach of God’s power to redeem. Not even a man who had tortured and brought great pain and suffering to many.

     It is a matter for great praise that forgiveness is not earned, but as the Gospel proclaims, is a free gift of grace to those who cast themselves upon the mercy of Jesus and take eternal refuge in the blood that was shed to satisfy God’s just wrath against sin.  A Gospel promise that is to all who will turn in faith to Jesus and leave their life of sin behind -- regardless of how terrible that past life of sin may have been.

     Blessing the Name of him who came and took on flesh that first Christmas, Pastor Jeff

Training Like Jesus

Greetings All!

     This week I received a magazine called, "Voice" (September/October 2018) which had a very interesting article on, "Training Like Jesus" in which the author -- Paul Seger -- shows the difference between the way Jesus trained people, the way the Church throughout history has done so, and the way we tend to do so today.   I found the differences quite fascinating, not to mention a bit convicting and very challenging.  I trust it might not only be informative and thought-provoking for you as well, but challenging to consider.  It gave me a much greater appreciation and respect for disciplers and pastors from the past.  Enjoy.

Training People Like Jesus Did

     "Life on the mission field has honed my conviction and commitment to discipleship. I have gained an appreciation for the absolute necessity of leadership training.  For years I have done both.  Discipleship of new believers and training men for church leadership became an indispensable part of missions and ministry.  But a visit I took to Israel this past year demonstrated how woefully inadequate my approach has been. As we traversed the Holy Land and rehearsed the life of Christ, it became obvious that His method of discipleship differed greatly from the way we disciple and train...

     The Gospels speak of Jesus moving around the country with little reference to distances he traveled.  In my naivete, I failed to factor walking into the equation. From His base of operations in Capernaum, Jerusalem was at least a five-day trek (approximately 121 miles, walking the whole way)...  What do these distances have to do with the amount of time Jesus spent training His disciples?  It is obvious these long walks would have given inordinate amounts of time to talk and train.  Lengthy hikes with conversations.  Lessons and lectures were enabled by hours on the road.  Add to that the absence of television, internet, phones, movies, electricity, and readily available entertainment, and the hours for teaching and training rapidly stacked up.  Evenings around the campfire allowed for unhurried conversations.  In the 21st Century we might wonder how Jesus could train disciples in 3.5 years. We anticipate four years of undergraduate work and then another three to four years for seminary. Yet in half that time Christ prepared the men who would be the foundation and future of the greatest initiative in history, the Church.

     Most preparation for ministry in the Western world takes place in a classroom and a 15-hour semester load is considered normal. Then, if there is an hour or two a week with a mentor, it is considered an exceptional experience...  But when Jesus called His disciples to follow Him, it was to spend 24 hours a day together for months on end.  They ministered together, ate together, worked together, relaxed together, socialized together and lived life as one.

     We will never replicate the teaching style of Jesus today.  We have neither the will nor the capacity to do this. But there have been phases of church history where something similar happened. In the early years of the United States there were no colleges and seminaries.  Men who wanted to enter the ministry did so by moving into the home of a pastor.  They rose in the morning and had devotions together. Breakfast was shared with opportunity to converse. Study for messages filled their morning hours and were done together (the older instructing the younger). Afternoon visits and evangelism were done together with opportunity to debrief after the event. Evenings were unhurried conversations around the table.  "In eighteenth-century New England, Christian leaders such as Jonathan and Sarah Edwards regularly had one or two pastor-trainees move into their home (alongside their 11 children!) where the budding ministers had opportunity to observe the quality of their marriage, the reality of their spiritual life, and the demands of pastoral duties" (Ted Engstrom, The Fine Art of Mentoring).  How many pastors do you know who have apprentices living in their homes?  Would I be willing to do that?

     Some pastors were better at doing this than others, so it was suggested that these shepherds do this full time.  With these full-time shepherds, Harvard and Princeton were formed to formalize the training and we never looked back. Our jam-packed schedules, programs, and Western approach to education have become the norm and crowded out the potential of training like Jesus.  I'm not sure we will ever go back to the way Jesus did it.  He spent the time... It would take a radical adjustment to ministry for the average pastor to include a couple trainees in their home and schedule... Even though we will not replicate the teaching style of Jesus, many of us could start moving in that direction."

     It is challenging to consider and think that maybe the newest way of doing things isn't the best or most effective.  It's also challenging to consider the depth of commitment it took to be disciples of Jesus. Or to be like a Sarah and Jonathan Edwards and open your house already full of 11 children to the watchful eyes of one or two pastors-in-training who watched (so as to learn) your every move. Imagine someone (or a couple of someones!) watching how you treat your wife and family, keep your house, spend your income, raise and train your children, pray and study the Word, evangelize and train leaders, speak of and interact with everyone in the Body of Christ, and seek to further the work of the Gospel locally and globally.

     Pastors often talk about "living in a fishbowl" where people observe everything you do.  And that's with people looking on from the outside!  Imagine them living in your house 24/7 for a couple years at a time!  Yikes!  For us who need our times of privacy to gather our thoughts and regain strength, it's a daunting thought!  We might all say, "Only by Your grace, O God!  Please give us what we need to begin to disciple more like Jesus did."

With You In Our Habitual Need For Grace, Pastor Jeff

Conversion Story of Saint Augustine

Greetings All!

     Last week we considered the conversion story of Charles H. Spurgeon.  This week I'll be sharing the conversion story of Saint Augustine. In the weeks to come I will share some others, because I find the stories of God's unique and saving work in the lives of many different people extremely fascinating!

     For those who are unaware, Augustine lived from 354-430 A.D. in North Africa.  He was born in Numidia (or what is today the country of Algeria) to Berber parents, a group of people indigenous to northern Africa. His father was well-to-do, and his mother Monica was a devout Christian woman.  From a young age it was obvious that Augustine was extremely gifted and intelligent, and so he was sent away to school at 11 years old. There he studied Latin literature and philosophy, as well as pagan beliefs and practices. By 15 years old he admits he preferred hedonism to studying, and by 16 he started to enjoy stealing and began satisfying his sexual cravings.

     At the age of 17 he went away to school in Carthage (present day Tunisia) to study rhetoric. It was here that he would break his mother's heart in two ways:  First, he would fully embrace a hedonistic lifestyle and embark on an affair with a girl that would last 15 years (followed by another affair with another young woman). Lust was the sin that consumed him, and led him at one point to pray his now famous prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence; but not yet."   The second was his rejection of Christianity and his "conversion" to Manichaeanism, a highly elaborate form of Gnosticism which taught that "light" (goodness) was gradually being removed from this world of matter and returning to the world of light (the immaterial spirit world) from which it came, making the world progressively more dark and evil as a result.

     Augustine developed great rhetorical skills and became very knowledgeable of the philosophies behind many faiths. In fact, word of his comprehensive knowledge of many subjects and philosophies, combined with his superior rhetorical skills, led him to be asked (at the age of 30) to be the instructor of rhetoric to the imperial court in Milan, winning him, "the most visible academic position in the Latin world at that time."   After arriving at Milan, Augustine heard of a great Christian preacher named Ambrose. He went to listen to him to see if he was (as some suggested) one of the greatest speakers and rhetoricians in the world.  More interested in his speaking skills than the topic of his messages Augustine went and listened, quickly discovering that Ambrose was indeed one of the best speakers he had ever heard.  He would later confess that Ambrose was one of the primary human instruments God used to break down one of the two major intellectual roadblocks he had in regard to Christianity.

     The following is an account, taken from his classic work, "The Confessions," speaks of the actual moment when he considers himself to have been converted. Enjoy.

     "I fled into the garden with my friend Alypius following step by step, for I had no secret in which he did not share...  We sat down as far as possible from the house. I was greatly disturbed in spirit, and angry at myself with a turbulent indignation, because I had not entered God's will and covenant, while all my bones cried out for me to enter...  Now, when deep reflection had drawn up out of the secret depths of my soul all my misery, and had heaped it up before the sight of my heart, there arose a mighty storm [within me], accompanied by a mighty rain of tears. So that I might give way fully to my tears and lamentations, I stole away from Alypius, for it seemed to me that solitude was more appropriate for the business of weeping. I went far enough away that I could feel that his presence was no restraint upon me....

     [Under great conviction and sorrow for my sins] I flung myself down under a fig tree and gave free course to my tears... And, not indeed in these words, but in this way, I cried to [God]: "And Thou, O Lord, how long? How long, O Lord?  Will you be angry with me forever?  O remember not against us our former iniquities."  For I felt I was still enthralled by them...  I was saying these things and weeping in the most bitter contrition of my heart when suddenly I heard the voice of a young boy or girl -- I know not which -- coming from the neighboring house. It was chanting over and over again in song: "Tolle Lege. Tolle Lege" ("Pick it up, read it. Pick it up, read it").  Immediately I ceased weeping and began most earnestly to wonder whether it was usual for children in some kind of game to sing such a song, but I could not remember ever having heard anything like it.  So, stopping the torrent of my tears, I got to my feet, for I could not help but think this was a divine command to open the Bible and read the first passage I should see.  I had heard about how Anthony had accidentally come into church when the Gospel was being read and received the admonition as if what had been read was addressed specifically to him: "Go sell all you have and give it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven, and come follow me." By such an oracle he was converted...

     So I quickly returned to the bench where Alypius was sitting, for there I had put down the apostle's book (Romans) when I had left there.  I snatched it up, opened it, and in silence read the first paragraph my eyes fell upon: "Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality or wantonness, not in strife and envying, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof" [Romans 13:13].  I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to. For instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all gloom and doubt vanished away.  Closing the book, and putting my finger or something else to mark the spot, I began -- now with a tranquil countenance -- to tell it all to Alypius. He then disclosed to me what had been going on in himself, of which I knew nothing. He asked to see what I had read. I showed him and he read on even further than I had read. I had no known what came next, but it was this: "Him that is weak in the faith, receive." This he applied to himself and told me so. By these words he was strengthened and joined me in full commitment [to Christ] without any restless hesitation.

     Then we went in to my mother and told her what had happened, to her great joy.  We explained to her how it had occurred and she leaped for joy triumphant; and she blessed You who are "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think." For she saw that You had granted her far more than she had ever asked for in all her pitiful and sad-hearted lamentations."

     Years earlier (when Augustine was in his late teens) Monica had a dream. In it she was standing on "a rule of wood" (a plank or platform she took to be the "rule of faith"). In the dream, she met a young man to whom she despaired of her son's "living death" [in sin] and expressed her desire that he should come to know God. The young man told her to have no fear and to look around to see who was with her on the rule... and there stood her son Augustine!  She considered the dream prophetic in nature and told Augustine. He threw it back in her face and told that far from the dream meaning that he would become a Christian, it meant that she would join him and embrace Manichaeanism!

     After asking Ambrose and others to do something numerous time to intervene on Augustine's behalf, Ambrose told her: "Leave him alone and just pray,"  and added, "Go, I beg you. The son of so many tears cannot perish."   What a wonderful account of how the God of grace rescues and redeems His chosen ones through the conviction of sin, the preaching of the Gospel, the simple reading of the Word, and the love of a mother who would not give up praying for her wayward son.

In His Service, Pastor Jeff

Dear Christian Man, Why Are You So Lonely?

Greetings All!

     This week's "thought" comes to you from Nick DeCola & Ross McCall, and was taken from their blog site "Cru."   It's about men needing male friendship -- what is necessary for that to happen, and what prevents that from happening. And you don't have to be a man to benefit from what is said here!   You may be a wife, brother, sister, child, or teenager soon to be heading into manhood. Or you may have a son, husband or friend who looks down, or feels lonely, and needs male friendships to help him grow,  become more connected, and find more joy and purpose through meaningful relationships with other godly or Christian men. If so, this article is worth a read.  Enjoy.

Dear Christian Man, Why Are You So Lonely?

     Enter the search terms “loneliness” and “men” into Google and notice many options it gives you. Millions. Major media outlets including the Boston Globe, New York Times and Huffington Post have all published studies on the phenomenon of male loneliness and its potential to become a health crisis…  So, what is coming between Christian men and the sense of brotherhood they long for?

Vulnerability scares men more than skydiving.

     Men are the masters of saying a lot without giving much away.  Many men want great friendships without any risk factor. Sharing an area of struggle or telling someone that you want to get to know them better feels risky. It is risky.  People can misunderstand us, judge us or otherwise disappoint us. If we’re honest, we’ve all known some form of rejection in our lives and we’d prefer to avoid that in our future. But the ability to be our authentic selves, our good, bad and ugly selves, is impossible without vulnerability.  Too many men’s events are full of talk about how we can be warriors for God while ignoring the realities of men who are losing their battles. Our common enemy loves to see an isolated Christian, and many are hiding in the corners of our gatherings or choosing not to come.  If this is you, you’re not alone. If you’re unsure who you can be real with, ask God to point you in the right direction.

Men don’t see each other in 3D.

     If you only see friends once a week for a Bible study, are you doing life together or checking boxes? Information alone doesn’t change our beliefs or lead to transformation. Biblical truth experienced through meaningful relationship is a recipe for life change.  Snake hunting in the Everglades. Eleven hours binge-watching HBO’s “Band of Brothers” in camouflage clothing. Monday night football. Coffee and acoustic music… Do something together with no obvious spiritual value. Having fun is a spiritual activity because it lowers the defenses we often put up in small group settings and allows people to see another side of us.  Far too often we paddle in shallow honesty while craving the deeper waters of transparency and vulnerability.

     Accountability is a popular term among Christian men. If we say it enough times each week we must be doing something right – right?  The danger is that we fall into the trap of attending a weekly men’s group and confessing the same thing without committing to whatever it takes to change. It’s not authentic because it lacks the courage to look at what’s driving our behavior…  Are you willing to let others ask you questions you don’t want to answer?  Are you willing to ask someone those questions?  You might have to put your superficial friendship on the line to reach for something better, but if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Men search in vain for the “right” small group.

     Men’s groups and events abound. We often look for the perfect group based on our stage in life and our first impressions of other people in the group. But this presents two problems. We won’t feel safe with people until we’ve been through something with them. And once the perfect group includes someone as imperfect as you, it’s days are numbered. Deeper friendships take more time than we’re used to giving anything these days. They also involve working through conflict, which we try to avoid at all costs.

Men have lost the art of living for others. 

     The paralytic in Mark 2 could never have had an audience with Jesus without his four friends tearing a hole in the roof and lowering him down.  They went the extra mile.  Do you ever feel paralyzed in your life as a Christian man?  Do you know others who fit that description?  What lengths will you go to for each other?  It might be taking calls in the middle of the night, or offering to have your friend live with you while they work through something. It might be something much simpler. What’s certain is that you’ll need to do more than “like” your friend’s Facebook posts, but so will they. This pursuit of deeper relationships is how you really want to live because it’s how you were designed to live.

Men cannot become their truest selves alone.

     Many of us have had mixed experiences with male role models growing up, but if we choose to avoid pursuing male friendships we stand no chance of healing old hurts. Those open wounds will wait patiently for the chance to hit you with a sucker punch.

     At one point in my early 20's a former girlfriend nicknamed me "Desperado" after the man spoken of in the song by that name. You know, the one "out mending fences for so long" who needed to "let somebody love [him]."  I assume it was because I wouldn't let anyone get too close to me.  Of course, the rugged, independent, individualist male image isn't as prevalent in society as it used to be (John Wayne and the Marlboro Man are known to very few today), but a degree of the image still lingers in the background of the male psyche to urge men to go it alone or think they really don't need deep male friendships.

     I was once one of those men. But I've gone through enough to realize it's not healthy, nor was it ever God's intended purpose that men isolate themselves and try to go it alone. In fact, that can be as bad as friendships with men who are bad influences. It can often get us into trouble and leave us with much pent-up stuff brewing inside.  Jesus established deep relationships with the inner three (Peter, James, and John) and very solid relationships with the other nine.  And though they had their moments of disagreement and relational friction, other than Judas they were there for each other and had each other's back. Even when Jesus sent the disciples out it was never alone -- but "two by two."  We would do well to heed His method and example!

In the Bonds of Christian Fellowship, Pastor Jeff